Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled, "What's a clit?" Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to Google it when I got home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML
Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML
Today, my professor asked me a question in class. Thinking it was a rhetorical question, I shrugged and said, "Google it." It wasn't. He stared at me in silence for the longest 10 seconds of my life. FML
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
Today, in the heat of losing our virginity, I asked him to “suck my clit, suck my clit, oh god please suck my clit.” He stopped what he was doing and asked me, “What’s a clit?” I almost strangled him. Don’t date boys homeschooled by single mamas, they’ll break your heart. FML
Today, I was teaching a high school calculus class. I wrote a complex formula on the board. As I wrote, students asked if they could take a picture of the board and circulate it. I said yes, and I was pleased as everybody seemed to be taking pictures. Soon, I realized why: my skirt was tucked into my underwear. Within a few minutes, every student in the school had an email with a picture of my ugliest pair of floral-printed panties. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, as I was at work as a gynecologist, a twelve-year-old girl asked me, on a scale of 1-10, how tight her "fun stuff" was. This is the new generation. FML
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Top comments
skatingweasel 0
Dude...you need to get laid.
Hannah_fml 0
talk about sheltered
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Comments (191)
omgbeckyyy 0
If you have a girlfriend, I feel bad for her.
kerrific 0
big deal that he doesn't know that. geez, not everyone has to always know everything about sex. you people need to do more with your life.
foltaggio 0
I didn't know what a clit was until this FML.
sick_a_lot666 0
uhm... idk what a clit is either... lol youre not alone
may_cause_fail 0
You mean your parents never told you about the birds and the bees? And you've never taken a basic science class?
Kingrayer 0
you need a girlfriend
stuff10 0
i disagree with a lot of people. I know it sounds obvious, but I knew the scientific name of a ******** but did not connect it with "clit" until reading the comments on this post. That may sound dumb, but things like that are usually only obvious to people who already know them.
TurtleGenius 0
I feel so bad for you; things like that happen to me all the time. Just because I don't care about it doesn't mean people should make fun of me because I don't know it. It's not like I make fun of other people because they aren't as advanced in math and the sciences as I am.
jklmnop 0
#13 ur rite im 14 and i knew what it was from 7th grade and i am no longer a virgin soo maybe its good to be sheltered... or the dude could just be from a super catholic family
hydronium 0
Seriously, this is why abstinence-only sex ed doesn't work. Too bad people here are too sexaphobic...I'm surprised at how many people actually think abstinence-only sex ed works!