Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled, "What's a clit?" Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to Google it when I got home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML
Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML
Today, my professor asked me a question in class. Thinking it was a rhetorical question, I shrugged and said, "Google it." It wasn't. He stared at me in silence for the longest 10 seconds of my life. FML
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
Today, in the heat of losing our virginity, I asked him to “suck my clit, suck my clit, oh god please suck my clit.” He stopped what he was doing and asked me, “What’s a clit?” I almost strangled him. Don’t date boys homeschooled by single mamas, they’ll break your heart. FML
Today, I was teaching a high school calculus class. I wrote a complex formula on the board. As I wrote, students asked if they could take a picture of the board and circulate it. I said yes, and I was pleased as everybody seemed to be taking pictures. Soon, I realized why: my skirt was tucked into my underwear. Within a few minutes, every student in the school had an email with a picture of my ugliest pair of floral-printed panties. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, as I was at work as a gynecologist, a twelve-year-old girl asked me, on a scale of 1-10, how tight her "fun stuff" was. This is the new generation. FML
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Top comments
skatingweasel 0
Dude...you need to get laid.
Hannah_fml 0
talk about sheltered
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Comments (191)
sevrok_7 0
#73, I like your points. I think you make really valid ones, and that are mostly true. It's interesting how this turned into an FML to a semi-political topic. ...
lundo 3
i have found that when you dont know something that sounds sexual its best not to say anything and let others make fools of themselves
LoveyPie 0
Fail.
fallchild007 0
Wow. I think I knew what that was when I was like... twelve. Just from hearing other people talk. haha.
Ahhem 0
That is simply inexcusable-especially for someone in their late teens. I hate to say it, but you truly are a ******* loser.
StarGirl11 0
I wouldn't feel to bad. Had a kid who was in my class in high school who skipped a couple of grades. He was fairly oblivious to even some of the most obvious references (ex: Keys and a Bowl).
misshistory 0
and this is why abstinence only education should be abolished.
forum590 0
to # 14 clit isn't some silly little sex word lmao. It's pretty damn important and you make it sound like it's slang or something that you'd only know if you grew up in a crude environment.... so dumb
kiss_me_kate 0
no worries bro. Im doing a dance show and these idiot guys tell this slutty girl that she gives them a boner. she is like, whats that? as we are going on stage for curtain call. she and i arent friends, but as the audience is cheering she is yelling whats a boner. stupid hoe. i explained it so she would stop being so innapropriate. plus man. . . clint isnt exactly a lovely turn used frequently. still, try to watch the exclamations :) not so FML. honestly, NBD. and what is it about sites like this that make people want to say things like, omg what HS? as if random people in your age group or with some remotely common interest would really find eachother in this way. actually though it would be a pretty kick ass story:: "oh, i met your father on fmylife.com" (: jkjk. dont think anything of this. its more general than to you. as i think i have implied, i dont know you, therefore any form of intregue or attatchment would be rediculose. Peace Love and Light, Kate
darksmile23 0
hahahaha stuff like that used to happen to me all the time. And it would be stuff not in the dictionary. I would suggest not to ask what it is next time and then look it up on the urban dictionary website. That website has been a godsend in those situations =