Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled, "What's a clit?" Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to Google it when I got home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML
Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML
Today, my professor asked me a question in class. Thinking it was a rhetorical question, I shrugged and said, "Google it." It wasn't. He stared at me in silence for the longest 10 seconds of my life. FML
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
Today, in the heat of losing our virginity, I asked him to “suck my clit, suck my clit, oh god please suck my clit.” He stopped what he was doing and asked me, “What’s a clit?” I almost strangled him. Don’t date boys homeschooled by single mamas, they’ll break your heart. FML
Today, I was teaching a high school calculus class. I wrote a complex formula on the board. As I wrote, students asked if they could take a picture of the board and circulate it. I said yes, and I was pleased as everybody seemed to be taking pictures. Soon, I realized why: my skirt was tucked into my underwear. Within a few minutes, every student in the school had an email with a picture of my ugliest pair of floral-printed panties. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, as I was at work as a gynecologist, a twelve-year-old girl asked me, on a scale of 1-10, how tight her "fun stuff" was. This is the new generation. FML
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Top comments
skatingweasel 0
Dude...you need to get laid.
Hannah_fml 0
talk about sheltered
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Comments (191)
christopherlove 0
I weep for the lack of sexual education in your country.
prechuzsgrangl 0
i don't understand how these people think that you getting laid is going to teach you what a clit is. Thank goodness for google and the internet...you should look up more things...sex is fun to learn about....
LeLeMarie90 0
Seriously??? What's worng with being an innocent virgin??? NOTHING. And in sex-ed we don't learn "You'll have sex and die" they teach us medical terms- NOT slang like "****" or "clit" btw- girls actually like and RESPECT innocent virgin guys. That's not something you see everyday
exile529 0
WOW
Poliz 0
Lol, America's sex ed system is REALLY fail XD
ohhhhshizzz 0
urbandictionary.com, my friend. Love it, learn it, live it:)
Wendelaa 0
HAHAHA!!!! you poor guy!! I completly agree with #1 ,you seriosly need to get laid!
xFenix81x 0
You are officially a loser. The end.
protooler31 0
dude, you are living proof of why we absolutely need in-depth sex education in high schools...not ******* abstinance programs that don't work and don't tell kids a damn thing about sex knowing full well that they're going to do it anyway...
slax0r 0
Dude you fail at grammar. "No one has yet to tell me" means "Everyone HAS told me." then again half the grammar on this site is crap.