Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled, "What's a clit?" Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to Google it when I got home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML
Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML
Today, my professor asked me a question in class. Thinking it was a rhetorical question, I shrugged and said, "Google it." It wasn't. He stared at me in silence for the longest 10 seconds of my life. FML
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
Today, in the heat of losing our virginity, I asked him to “suck my clit, suck my clit, oh god please suck my clit.” He stopped what he was doing and asked me, “What’s a clit?” I almost strangled him. Don’t date boys homeschooled by single mamas, they’ll break your heart. FML
Today, I was teaching a high school calculus class. I wrote a complex formula on the board. As I wrote, students asked if they could take a picture of the board and circulate it. I said yes, and I was pleased as everybody seemed to be taking pictures. Soon, I realized why: my skirt was tucked into my underwear. Within a few minutes, every student in the school had an email with a picture of my ugliest pair of floral-printed panties. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, as I was at work as a gynecologist, a twelve-year-old girl asked me, on a scale of 1-10, how tight her "fun stuff" was. This is the new generation. FML
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Top comments
skatingweasel 0
Dude...you need to get laid.
Hannah_fml 0
talk about sheltered
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Comments (191)
mystomachurts 3
Wtf?? Yes that IS being sheltered. I'm positive that I knew every single nickname for sexual parts by the 6th grade. How can someone be so out of touch with reality? I had my guy friends explain any phrase I didnt know to me loooong ago (like Rusty Trombone, Dirty Sanchez, Donkey Punch) And any time I heard something else, I'd go look it up. ITS ALL ABOUT EDUCATING YOURSELF. God knows Sex Education in this country won't teach you shit. (besides abstinence of course)
MirandaaHoldsHim 0
Awe, well, my boyfriend wanted to take stuff like this to the next level; so i made him look it up! ...online sex education isn't bad! ...But then again, im not a high school senior!?
moosey1234 0
wow. . . i knew tht when i wuz 12. . . and i'mma chick. . .
idku 4
Yeah, I didn't find out what that was until I was in 11th grade. I didn't know what "skeet" was until after high school. :) I wouldn't say you life is f**ked but I will say that you shouldn't be ashamed that you didn't know. Still...this reminds me of Butters from South Park a bit. Lol!
ELAINEsaysWOOF 0
you should've socked her.
cheerleader1313 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, no offense but woooow
playful2088 0
awww how cute, you didn't know what a clit was??? call me, i'll show you what one looks lika, haha. jk. but seriously i thought i was sheltered, lol.
RandomFool 5
Don't they at least teach you about stuff like that in health class or something? wow...
fad1ngfast 0
Skip 4th grade health class much? Or are you a Christian school boy? I went to a Christian school, and I had to learn about sex by outside research.
frenchchick16 0
aww...hehe