Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled, "What's a clit?" Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to Google it when I got home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML
Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML
Today, my professor asked me a question in class. Thinking it was a rhetorical question, I shrugged and said, "Google it." It wasn't. He stared at me in silence for the longest 10 seconds of my life. FML
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
Today, in the heat of losing our virginity, I asked him to “suck my clit, suck my clit, oh god please suck my clit.” He stopped what he was doing and asked me, “What’s a clit?” I almost strangled him. Don’t date boys homeschooled by single mamas, they’ll break your heart. FML
Today, I was teaching a high school calculus class. I wrote a complex formula on the board. As I wrote, students asked if they could take a picture of the board and circulate it. I said yes, and I was pleased as everybody seemed to be taking pictures. Soon, I realized why: my skirt was tucked into my underwear. Within a few minutes, every student in the school had an email with a picture of my ugliest pair of floral-printed panties. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, as I was at work as a gynecologist, a twelve-year-old girl asked me, on a scale of 1-10, how tight her "fun stuff" was. This is the new generation. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
skatingweasel 0
Dude...you need to get laid.
Hannah_fml 0
talk about sheltered
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (191)
jeragonm 15
It's ok, I'm in the same boat, I just found out the first of the school year.
davembsl 10
Man get a social life.
dcb132z 17
Is it sad that i also don't know what that is
JohnnyKade 25
Visits a **** website...
JessicaGrewal 22
He's an innocent child. Which is a good thing.
teddysbadkitty 6
sounds like my brother. my parents refuse to tell him anything sexual in nature because "he'll learn it in school". what's even sadder is that he only learned what his "winkie" was really called last year. he's almost 13
KxHoneyCombxP 24
No worries, I had no idea what clit, ****, or giving head meant, among other things.
320jaw 9
Don't worry. I don't know what that is. I am not going to look it up. I learned what **** was when I was in 8th grade. My friends had me look it up on my friend's phone. They thought it was funny. I didn't
stellasue11 38
ignorance is bliss... sometimes!!
Echoing_V3gas 13
You deserve to be a virgin.