Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was gathering laundry around the house. I forgot my son was almost 13, and grabbed the very stiff socks from under his bed with my bare hands. FML
Today, I found all my missing underwear that I have been looking for for months, and have been replacing. They were all hidden in a pile in my 14 year-old son's bedroom, covered in crusty stuff. When confronted, his response as to why was, "Hormones…?" FML
Today, I found the missing sock from my laundry inside the sleeve of a hoodie I’d already worn twice. I now know where my laundry goes to hide from me. FML
Today, my mom texted me, “Sweetie, I found something weird in your laundry basket.” My mind raced through every possible embarrassing scenario. I called her in panic, and she said, “Why are there 18 single socks?” I’ve never been so relieved to be messy. FML
Today, I took my laundry out of the washing machine and noticed one of my socks was missing. I checked the drum, the floor, and the laundry basket. I eventually found it inside the sleeve of the hoodie I'd been wearing while loading the machine. FML
Today, I put on a sock. Then another sock. When I got into public, I realized my two socks were slightly different shades of blue. FML
Today, I did laundry and found one lone sock in the washer. Thinking I was done, I left it there and put the rest in the dryer. When I pulled out the clothes, the sock was missing. It was in the dryer all along, but I couldn’t find its partner anywhere. A sock black hole struck again. FML
Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML
Today, while looking for some socks in my mom's dresser, I found a male g-string and an edible bra. FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
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Top comments
Lorenzo1102 21
At least they weren't fresh. Count yourself lucky
kimeatszombies 22
Oh god oh man oh god oh man.
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Comments (175)
goldcock19 9
First comment!!!!!!!!
MassiDelta 28
Nobody cares!!!!!
MassiDelta 28
#1, go away. OP, you should have a serious talk with your son.
EmDizzle2007 28
about...
EmDizzle2007 28
about...
EmDizzle2007 28
about...
EmDizzle2007 28
about...
kimeatszombies 22
Oh god oh man oh god oh man.
JMichael 26
Oh..that's..nasty..
lovelockdown23 23
Lmfao did anyone else read that comment in Cleveland Brown's voice? no? okay just thought I'd ask.
Xandrick 22
Lovelockdown23, I totally did! xD
storeymonkey 9
Yes of course i did
jentrynicole 20
Wash your hands until they're raw.
imapartypooper 15
A bucket of bleach works too. (I figure I better right a warning in case someone is dumb enough to actually do it. Bleach should not come into contact with your skin.)
Badkarma4u 17
She's his mother she's touched worse things that have come out of his body.
cheshireau 26
And throw the socks away
Jowisee 29
Nononono. There is NOTHING worse than that.
laden_swallow09 35
You can dip your hands in bleach and suffer no ill effects. So long as you have no open sores/wounds, don't touch your face or clothes, or eat anything right after. Just wash your hands with soapy water and you're good to go.
Dick_diamond 22
*write
Crazyjohnb 23
Don't tell him about it or he will tell you to put a sock in it.
DivineZero 18
i think you mean "put it in a sock"
Crazyjohnb 23
#16 can't tell if making a joke or stupid
HWICUNow 10
#16 Either way, I laughed
joeyl2008 29
Years ago my friends mom found his "sock" and she mentioned to him that it was really stiff (I don't think she knew why) and he told her that was his million dollar sock
DivineZero 18
aha, it was meant as a joke - i often find myself a fan of cringe-worthy humor
spatula232 25
Very hygienic
Lorenzo1102 21
At least they weren't fresh. Count yourself lucky
TrippingOnAcid 29
I'm not sure if that's better or worse, honestly
QuaDECH 13
@29 Crunchy is better, trust me.
lexos 16
@29 if it's fresh it's still sticky and liquid witch can cum on your hands
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#126 What's a liquid witch and why is she cumming on our hands? Lol.
Krypt1c 11
Should probably remind him to do laundry
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
I don't think that is what OP is getting at. But glad some people still have innocent minds
Krypt1c 11
I know what she's getting at, but it'll be a way so she doesn't have to touch them or bring up the subject haha
Siriusly521 12
I'm one of those people. What does that mean?
Miss_Whipped 43
It means her son has been ejaculating into his socks. I'm sure you could've taken the time to read the other 100+ comments before asking, #150.
enginsteve 17
She probably could have, but the way you put it was so eloquent yet blunt.
alfalfalaffa 17
Well... Just try to look on the bright side OP, that's probably better than walking in on him in action. Might want to say something to him to avoid dealing with his crusty socks.
addisonrose12 16
Or just leave a large box of Kleenex with a note saying "wash your own socks"
BigC_from_Bama 16
I don't know... I'd rather see it happening than feel the results. Both are gonna be awkward but I prefer the one that keeps me from being oblivious to what a crusty sock is doing to be so damn crusty...
enginsteve 17
If you say anything to him its probably going to scar him for life... I would say just don't look under his bed anymore, make him do his own laundry. Tell him he's growing up he has to learn this important life skill.
laden_swallow09 35
Telling your own son that he's a filthy pig for letting his laundry get out of control will scar him for life? If that's all it takes to traumatize you, I pity your upbringing.
enginsteve 17
You must be the kind of person who likes to angrily fap while staring dead into your mother's eyes. Also, nice screen name swallow, it is unusually appropriate in this case.
LadyLuck93 20
eww
Llama_Man2000 26
Fair enough that sucks, but why would you son not just put it in the laundry in a different shirt - hidden - so it gets washed and no one notices - though what happened to you really sucks.
purelymixed 17
Sounds like you're the expert xD
Migole 36
That can turn bad really fast though if the sock and shirt have different colours and suddenly the white laundry comes back pink ;) (My mum separates everything carefully so this would never work). Most people also wash their shirts at 30°C and underwear/socks at 60°C so the sock propably wouldn't even come back clean... *ew* I don't understand why people won't just use tissues though. Sounds so much easier :P (I'm a girl btw)
gmprockz 13
You obviously know all the tricks maybe the OP's son should start taking notes
enginsteve 17
Or he could have just used the cat. ( I don't care, downvote me! I giggled!)