Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled, "What's a clit?" Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to Google it when I got home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML
Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML
Today, my professor asked me a question in class. Thinking it was a rhetorical question, I shrugged and said, "Google it." It wasn't. He stared at me in silence for the longest 10 seconds of my life. FML
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
Today, in the heat of losing our virginity, I asked him to “suck my clit, suck my clit, oh god please suck my clit.” He stopped what he was doing and asked me, “What’s a clit?” I almost strangled him. Don’t date boys homeschooled by single mamas, they’ll break your heart. FML
Today, I was teaching a high school calculus class. I wrote a complex formula on the board. As I wrote, students asked if they could take a picture of the board and circulate it. I said yes, and I was pleased as everybody seemed to be taking pictures. Soon, I realized why: my skirt was tucked into my underwear. Within a few minutes, every student in the school had an email with a picture of my ugliest pair of floral-printed panties. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, as I was at work as a gynecologist, a twelve-year-old girl asked me, on a scale of 1-10, how tight her "fun stuff" was. This is the new generation. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
skatingweasel 0
Dude...you need to get laid.
Hannah_fml 0
talk about sheltered
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (191)
sevrok_7 0
it's okay. i didn't find out what a chode was until today, and im a freshman in college. well, i don't know if i should explain now what a chode is, considering you didn't know what a ******** was.
XBriXBrutalityX 0
You poor, poor sheltered child. how did you NOT know what that was?
ShadowedHuman 5
I always thought the clit was a myth... hahaha
RebecaD 0
WTF?? You Did know what clit was and you're High School Senior?! Never got laid before... omg, and I bet he will take some time till do it...
themaintroll 0
YDI for not having sex-ed
celestial789 0
I found out what that was in third grade...but I guess that was because I listen in on my parents too much...but still. A SENIOR? Okay, you haven't gotten laid, whatever. But have you been living in a box your whole life or something? YDI for living in a friggin box.
lulujay 0
dude it's ok, I didn't know what **** meant until my Jr. year, and you don't have to have sex before you get out of high school, it's ok, I personally don't think people are ready until they are at least 18
AtrumMessor 1
Daaamn... I feel sorry for you. I really do.
fh1234 0
hh
klakuv 0
I'm 14 and I already have 1-up on you :D