Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned, "The bitch on the pot." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband is upset because somewhere out there, on a long forgotten social media site, is a picture of me mooning my geography teacher's house. He doesn’t like that my ass is on the internet. It’s a 30 year-old pic, out of focus, taken on a damn flip phone, and you can’t even see my face. FML
Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML
Today, I saw my husband’s Instagram story of a young lady captioned, “How did I get so lucky?” I took a screenshot of it and sent it to him. His only defense was, “Oh fuck, I meant to post that to my Close Friends! It’s not what it looks like!” He's called me 14 times and has left 6 voicemails of him sobbing to not leave him. FML
Today, my husband picked a fight with me because I have more pictures of our child on my desk at work than I do of him. FML
Today, my husband woke me up by sending me a picture of a guy I used to semi-see. The same night my boyfriend sent me a furious text asking why I didn’t tell him I’m married, because my husband has found his Instagram and was harassing him online. Like, leave me alone. FML
Today, a friend showed me my husband's online dating profile, which includes photos of him with our kids. FML
Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML
Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, thanks to my asshole coworker and his obsession of posting pictures and tagging me in them on Facebook after I repeatedly told him not to, my wife found out about a party we had with colleagues only. I’m seen in several photos kissing my work bestie, who I hoped I’d keep under wraps until now. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
You asked for it. Now all those other women will be jealous and beg their husbands to do the same. I never knew relationships had to be cookie-cutter identical.
singer0421 32
Social media is not a representation of how happy a couple is. No need to get jealous.
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Comments (140)
sometimessam 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Time to get revenge I think.
cryssycakesx3 23
nah. she asked for it. who gets jealous over Facebook relationships
badluckalex 23
op does
cinskeep43 15
this is gonna start a war of embarrassing pictures lol.
Zougibourg_fml 6
An impressive deduction as always, captain obvious
grogers311 20
Thank you #12!
cartedor 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I see a Friends episode, the one where monica, rachel, joey, chandler and joey's father all got seen naked in the shower. haha
otumboo 10
#12 is definitely right
JBChristian 47
That's what the thumbs are for #56.
tournamentdecide 33
I have no clue what that had to do with this chain, 43
Axipiter 24
They all got seen naked in the shower! What's not to understand? Gs, it's obviously the exact same thing. That was the first thing I thought of too! Come on, what's wrong with yo... Ok I'm done.
iloveanimeshow 6
sorry to ruin it but this is a recycled FML...
harrison99 4
Wow. I'm sorry OP
alliewillie 22
Me too. I think everybody's missing the point - no, she shouldn't use Facebook as the model for their relationship BUT the point is, posting a photo of your significant other in an embarrassing, private moment for all her friends, family, and the world to see is absolutely humiliating and inappropriate. I don't know about you all, but I have my coworkers, boss, church friends, high school friends, family and more on my FB and it would be mortifying for them to see me like that, especially on purpose.
MrsDruidess 23
that does suck, kick his ass then start closing the bathroom door ;-)
Gassy_stevie 15
That sounds pretty crappy for you
Gassy_stevie 15
That was quality humour guys
cadillacgal79 32
More like bad attempt at an overused pun :you tried:
Gassy_stevie 15
Yea I guess. It was the heat of the moment
DArthurVaderian 18
Better than the shitty situation one
GoldFishPony 21
At least he tried...?
starsierra 15
I dont get why this was thumbed down
allieallie18 7
#86: because he did not try at all.
Welshite 40
You asked for it. Now all those other women will be jealous and beg their husbands to do the same. I never knew relationships had to be cookie-cutter identical.
little_one 20
He handled the situation very poorly. That's just cruel. When you're married you need to work together to make both people happy. Sounds like one crappy relationship.
Exsequor 14
Can't say the man doesn't listen.
singer0421 32
Social media is not a representation of how happy a couple is. No need to get jealous.
baseballbv 17
In fact the ones posting pictures all the time typically are the ones fighting the most.
vixenfawkeys 5
The fact he called her a bitch online shows he is a jerk. I mean, yes she asked for a photo to showcase, but the negative response was uncalled for. Plus he is humiliating her online.
singer0421 32
Yes, OP's husband is a complete asshole and responded very inappropriately, but OP shouldn't have brought up the issue in the first place.
Demoniq 25
My BF and I occasionally refer to one another as bitch or asshole and no one takes it seriously... it only means what you imply by it. Who knows whether OP and her husband have the same thing or not?? And we definitely do not post pictures together to earn recognition via social media or affirm our status as 'a happy couple' and we are just fine, if not better. Humiliating OP with the toilet shot however, is just horrible.
sirpantselot 22
A quote I like is "the best sign of a good relationship is no sign of it on facebook."
junkman6 22
I would say make him sleep on the couch but you run the risk of a picture of him on the couch smiling. I think the caption might read "I don't have to sleep with the bitch tonight!"
salvorican 24
People take social media too seriously. You post everything you want to "show off" and keep private matters to yourself. No relationship is perfect just because of a few photos.
vikky538 29
yoi can tag him as asshole...