Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
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Top comments
tylerbro 3
Did the boat chum before he did?
Rapide100 6
You do know there's nothing wrong with just having sex ON the boat...
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Comments (125)
HerrBawl 4
It's like a Virgin Bloody Mary. Ducking close to (bloody) water.
HerrBawl 4
Well, I'm not sure if that was my fault or the sites, but the D should be an F.
RedPillSucks 33
It's like an American beer. ******* close to water.
bigbadtim 7
Sex and sushi, great combo.
rayofsunahine25 4
why would you do that when theres a perfectly good boat. who knows what's in the water
MerrikBarbarian 9
Well I suppose points for being able to not lose the boat and not drown while having sex in water... Now if you could just gain some look out skills for approaching boats (which should be a cue to stop anyways) you'd have the trifecta.
jesinuevo 3
Grossssss!!! U guy r disgusting! Next time have sex ON the boat?
Linkerdoodles 15
Next time use proper English?
marid_fml 2
The boat probably chummed *because* the fisherman saw you in the water. I'd be pissed if there were two self-centered mammals fornicating in my favorite fishing grounds and scaring off all the fish, too.
megansays 2
That's disgusting..... Sex in open water I mean. I mean, fish chum is gross, but I imagine you're having relations in nasty contaminated lake water...
sexylivibieber 0
Oh wow! That's sexy! Just kidding! Yeah next time you should do it ON the boat or on the beach... In the water... By fishing boats... Not romantic... AT ALL!
stevenmx86 8
How do you not deserve this? Go have sex in your damn room... Wtf?
Kman343 5
Look, look. You were on a boat mother fu****?! I think, as a result, YDI.