Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
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Top comments
tylerbro 3
Did the boat chum before he did?
Rapide100 6
You do know there's nothing wrong with just having sex ON the boat...
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Comments (125)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"I'm on a boat, mother ******--ah, what the ****?" Other boat: Sorry about that, I like watching, and sometimes I get carried away.
moonlight6654 6
Sex in public? Yeah!
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
That's what you get for having sex in public, genius.
chellynn 6
Eww sex in a body of water is disgusting!
perdix 31
With every thrust, he pumps even more dirty water into her hoo-hah. Yep, that's disgusting!
Opheliac73 8
My dear, it appears that you've yet to be introduced to bath/shower sex.
lainzilla 14
Bathtubs aren't bodies of water. :P
perdix 31
Hopefully, the chum masked your personal fishy smell ;)
PrincessPesa 20
Ew, what is this, a Vagisil ad?! "Ladies, your ****** shouldn't smell like fish- unless you're swimming with them!"
JohnnyGraves 12
Am I the only one thinking sex where fishing boats are means some nasty infections and uti's?
KiddNYC1O 22
That's just nastyy.
I_Punch_Babies 7
doesnt matter got infected
corypoops 5
Wtf who has sex in dirty water like that
Streetracer15 9
Hey having sex on a boat could be fun, if the current picks up or there are waves it would feel like your having sex on a water bed ;)
groupleader 7
Doesn't matter...still had that fishy smell.