Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Blending Nemo
Today, I was draining the water from my fishbowl out into the kitchen sink. The fish was still in it and decided to go with the flow, literally, right into the garburator. I was too scared to stick my hand down there to save it; instead I panicked and turned the garburator on. FML
Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML
My regret
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Bathtime for two
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Top comments
JTthePurpleNinja 5
F the fishes life ! Ouch
dontfmlplzzz 6
Your reaction was to shred the fish? Angry much?
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Comments (229)
jenna_love91 5
Lol ew
HoboSmeller 6
who the hells first reaction is to turn on the disposal when something is down there, what, do you have tourettes?
Birdie_Sage 0
The boyfriend must be so sad... Buy him a new Nemo! It'll be better than the old one!
Keevarou 17
Treat him to sushi as a sorry gift :)
The_Hitdude 12
23-That's ****** up. Seriously.
Keevarou 17
34... Good thing you don't know my uncles ^_^ That statement I said were only 1/10th as offensive as it could be ^^ I don't take things too seriously, so sorry if it did not suit your tastes ^^
I_Punch_Babies 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
id prefer chicken
Cad6 24
^I thumbed you down because of your username.
The_Hitdude 12
I_Punch_Babies' username isn't much different from BABYPUNCHINGGUY. Both stupid usernames, and neither of them very original. It's a shame, really.
MonsterSlayer13 5
yum. free sushi. :D
Pandacupcakelove 26
23- I'm having sushi tonight soo... now this is all I'm going to think of :/ but it's ok because you're a brony ^^ you still need to be about 20% cooler, though.
monique8axel 6
Agreed
baked_goods 5
Yeah, because whether or not someone is a brony should always be a major deciding factor. This is why no one likes y'all.
BirdieCurls 25
#119 so it's only okay if you're a brony? How does that make any sense? #224 that could have been a great comment, had you not put down a group of people for liking a show and telling them 'no one likes' them.
JTthePurpleNinja 5
F the fishes life ! Ouch
ladyLALAA 29
**** the boyfriend's life too, I hope it wasn't an expensive fish!
WaSiSimiLang 8
Hey OP You must be the one they call "fish killer", AKA the dentist's niece. Hence, I shall agree to F your boyfriend and his fish's life, and say that YDI. Now anymore slip ups like that, and I'll make sure you swim with the fishes... Kapeesh? Here, buy your boyfriend something nice, eh? Mario! Cancel my 5 o'clock... Be glad my girl, this conversation saved a few souls due for a -uh- meeting with my tommy here...
LSS_fml 18
25 how is agreeing to **** her boyfriend going to help? Lol.
2dog 15
Maybe the fish was ******* expensive as hell
emilyjgraham 34
31 "f your boyfriend and his fishes life" read the whole sentence, key word being life.
LSS_fml 18
Seems nobody detected my sarcasm, despite writing "lol" at the end. Oh well.
Pandacupcakelove 26
#14 I don't hope anyone buys an expensive fish... All they do is swim around with an empty look in their faces and you have to feed them, but not to much cause then they'll explode. No offense to fish owners but... Sounds pointless.
bgibbz 15
This wouldn't have even happened if she just took the fish out of the bowl first like a normal person...
WaSiSimiLang 8
Lol 31 I thought you were just being you and that maybe you just read wrongly or something, then you ruin it with 48, which, I can assure you, doesn't look like sarcasm... I think the explanation you're looking for is that you were joking. Can you detect by my "lol" at the start that I'm pissed off (which I'm not)? Same logic
Mearemoi 14
I'll be assuming it's a freshwater fish and not a saltwater fish (because it's in a bowl), and usually, freshwater fish aren't that expensive.
LSS_fml 18
Whatever 69, havnt you got better things to do than rant about other peoples comments?
Forlorn420 9
Seems like we have a homicide/suicide case on our hands.
The_Hitdude 12
LSS: Your comment wasn't sarcasm. It was a terrible joke. I don't plan on getting in an argument right now, so I'll just leave it at that. Enjoy the rest of your day.
WaSiSimiLang 8
What, did I hit a nerve? All I did was point out the difference between sarcasm and jokes, I wasn't spiting you or anything, so why get so worked up? Yeah but whatever, off to "find better things to do" now
FirstTigerHobbes 13
Oh, so is that how you communicate sarcasm on the Internet now? That is a life saver, I'm gonna use that from now on! Lol
yadisingh 5
Lmao, what life?
kakarot2 11
57. To an empty minded person all they do is swim, but they actually express behavior patterns. Not every fish is alike, even if they are the same species. I own a $150 lieutenant Tang in my $5000 reef tank. Now, this guys fish was probably freshwater, more than likely a Betta or a goldfish because he had it on a bowl so not too expensive.
Pandacupcakelove 26
138- hahahaha! I knew some loony would come and try to tell me that fish are very deep and special creatures... Please! They only remember for 3 seconds or something. An you are calling me empty minded? You know, it's funny how people like you all of a sudden knows everything about me from reading one comment, right... You don't! Shut up!
justanotherbird 19
166, you're an idiot. You clearly spew "facts" without any research of your own. Fish can actually be trained to respond to sounds and have long term memory capabilities to such things. I'd post a link to the study, but that isn't allowed on fml. Feel free to educate yourself with a study search. Even if they were "empty brained", who gives a shit? Some people own them because they are pretty, interesting, or just enjoy the hobby. I'd say fish are probably as "pointless" as any other decoration or hobby, so why would anyone ever buy ANYTHING enjoyable or attractive, in accordance to your logic? FYI, I don't own fish and have no desire to, just felt like responding to your ridiculousness.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
I'm surprised that your boyfriends immediate impulse wasn't to break up with you
kakarot2 11
166, I would respond to your stupidity, irrationalism and empty headedness but 172 already took care of it pretty well. Please do your research before making yourself look stupid.
AceArctic 4
"F the fish's life!" Anyone else see the problem with this comment?
Living_Fetus13 0
Explain to me more about your empty minded and over priced fish, and I will explain to you what a ****** feels like
raney150 0
Why do people on the Internet try to insult people by saying they don't have sex? And why do people think that when someone is interested in something they aren't that it means they don't have sex?
kakarot2 11
Because they obviously do not know anything about the subject, feel lost, so they decide to attack the person instead. This just proves his lack of intelligence.
randomkayx3 11
OP... you monster D:
zandalee 20
Oh well. Maybe next time he will clean his own bloody fish bowl
GothicAngel17 24
That's what I was thinking. Some sort of PMS induced sadistic revenge, perhaps?
zandalee 20
Yep. Some women have all the fun
I_Punch_Babies 7
before he does that hes gotta clean up the bloody disposal first
zandalee 20
Better watch his fingers
I_Punch_Babies 7
...and make sure his gf isnt near the switch
zandalee 20
Or me
ClassyCommando 13
P. Sherman 42, Wallaby Way, Sydney, Australlia I still remember dat shit!
dontfmlplzzz 6
Your reaction was to shred the fish? Angry much?
ycrem0n 21
It's probably OP's psychotic sadistic merciless side of her she isn't aware of, yet.
GothicAngel17 24
24 - We call that PMS
SkoomaKi 28
52 - It's called being a girl....
Enslaved 38
Funny how the expression "to flip the switch" means- to go from calm to total rage in seconds, so you might not be too far off with anger issues. :P
glutgyoogle 6
I know when I see something fall down the drain that isn't supposed to I immediately try and destroy it.
Cinny90 7
97 - That's what you get for years of supressing...
klsydggn 16
Fish are friends, not food
nativegirl13 3
Am i the only one who actually thought that you were supposed to take the fish out while cleaning its tank?
shutterbug1190 14
Its like he committed fishicide.. Did you mean to turn on the light perhaps and hit the disposal by accent? Oh dear... That's just really, really, bad luck...
SkoomaKi 28
No he was murdered in "cold blood" by the girlfriend. Let us have a moment of silence for the one they call Fish.
shutterbug1190 14
Very true since instead of immediately reaching in to try and grab the fish like I would, she automatically turned on the disposal.
I_Punch_Babies 7
she shouldve put her hand in the disposal while it was turned on
coried91 28
41- Just shut up. The mods need to just block you from this site because you always make bullshit comments.
music_woman1 11
It's the "mutilated fish" part that got to me
fylx100 19
This FML ruined my entire night. I was catching on FML's this weekend and now I'm just going to bed after this one.
Birdie_Sage 0
Where's Nemo???
SkoomaKi 28
Dead and mutilated in the drain.
snowfox_fml 10
We're finding him
OhLohd111 11
In pieces.
emilyjgraham 34
how was that your immediate impulse? I can't even think of the stream of thought your brain went through to decide to mutilate the fish and thinking that was the right choice!
steviesnm 6
The words "immediate" and "impulse" imply that there was no stream of thought, decision, or thinking whether flipping the switch was the right or wrong choice.
Ameel_fml 19
Even so, it's a very strange impulse to have. If a watch or a pet fell down the drain, it only makes sense to see if it's stuck in the drain (and if you're lucky, rescue the item)...or at least let the fish go through the pipes. Then you can pretend to yourself that it eventually made it to the sewers and swam away. It's strange to automatically have the reaction of chopping up ANYTHING that falls into the drain.
cmyk 19
Hope for her sake and her bf's safety she wont have the same reaction if they get their hand stuck in it..
DuffleBagHero 4
Sorry number 50 but , I disagree. It's not her pet so why would she put as much attention/thought into it as her boyfriend? And it's a simple reaction. Not weird at all. When food goes down the drain, what do you do? Turn on garbage disposal. Honestly.
Ameel_fml 19
@#116: Um...wtf?!! Just because it's not her pet, doesn't mean she shouldn't care about ending it's life. So if someone's dog accidentally walked in front of your car, and your first impulse was to hit the accelerator and kill it, that would be perfectly ok because it's not your own pet? I know a dog isn't exactly comparable to a fish, but it's pretty dickish to not care about the pet of someone you supposedly love. Hell, I had college roomates who owned things like fish and mice. And when they were out of town, I'd feed them and look after them. Why? Because it's dickish to let an animal die just because it isn't your own pet. And I don't know why you'd even bring food into this. Food is SUPPOSED to be chopped up in the drain. People's pets (especially pets of those you love) aren't! Most people can tell the difference!
Levvy 22
Come to think of it, don't a lot of people accidentally drop silverware partway down the drain pretty frequently? OP must have a lot of mangled utensils if the first reaction they have to things going into the drain is to flip the disposal on.
otecasacid 22
Light switches are usually pretty close to the switch that activates grinder. At my 2 houses, they are opposite of each other, so super confusing
TheFirstSamurai 18
"unholy leap" is another one I think I'll use.
Mirorbo 27
Why was the poor little fishy so close to the sink in the first place? I put my fishy in a temporary bowl while I'm cleaning his tank, FAR away from the sink should he actually jump out.
ImTheAlpha 30
You're a gøød fishy owner. ^_^