Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML
Today, my hubby thought he made me queef during sex. I was too embarrassed ro tell him it was a fart I was holding in, but couldn’t once I orgsmed. FML
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
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Top comments
Pitbull305 9
Those are tears of elation. He just experienced a magical moment.
kingoirish 4
best wife ever
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Comments (126)
loserman67 36
He asked for a morning ******** and you happily agreed? Where were you when I wanted to get married? Oh that's right, you were in England. And then you had no issue when he farted? Your husband is a lucky man.
JanisEvans 10
What's a fart between lovers. Seriously, I'd just laugh it off, too. It really isn't a big deal.
ocramavaf 15
a lot of people tend to be very superficial in these matters
rivera323 5
Just stick your finger in his ass next time...that should fix the problem!
panicsdisaster 17
You're one step away from a plumkin.
perdix 31
It's blumpkin. I hesitate to correct you because the blumpkin-hatahs appear to be on the march today, mindlessly thumbing down any discussion of this esoteric practice.
Lastking85 6
Shit happen !!
kittykat1497 7
*happens And no it did not.
dontpanic_fml 32
I really wouldn't find it necessary to laugh; I'd just sort of ignore it...then again, the crying is a bit much too...
outoftown 27
Laughes? Not necessay at all. Giggles? Absolutely!
nancem 7
You're a better wife then me. I'm down with the morning BJ but I would be utterly disgusted if someone farted when I'm that close to their asshole.
DustyStorm 16
OP, this FML made me laugh so hard my side hurts.... Whenever my guy farts I find it pretty hilarious so if he did it while I gave him a *******/while he came, I would crack up too! That'd be epic! I have something to look forward to, lmao. I'm sorry he cried, that would be so sad...I feel for the both of you. Perhaps he can accept the humor of it in the future? Most women would be mortified but there are a few of us who love lip service and find stuff like that funny, so I'm sorry this ended badly.
SeepingSarcasm 7
Doesn't matter how many times in the future I will hear ''I've lost faith in humanity'' or any likewise comments, hearing about a bunch of woman who likes giving ******** and who doesn't mind farts, is my faith in humanity restored, forever, never to be lost again, ever....except if there comes new Twilight movies. To all you perfect ladies like that, thank you, and never change!
DustyStorm 16
Add to my list: can't stand that Twilight shit....makes ME lose faith in humanity and Hollywood "talent"...can they still call that talent??
SeepingSarcasm 7
Wow 83, where is the catch? You seem too good too true! Marry me? ;p
SeepingSarcasm 7
* too BE true.
DustyStorm 16
*snicker* Guess the catch would be that I've never wanted kids, lol. Seems to be a deal breaker! Go figure....
SeepingSarcasm 7
Mmmm, I see...but then again, who wants kids if you could rather have morning BJ's given with a smile! haha.
DustyStorm 16
I know huh!!! I'd rather be able to do that and everything else without interruption, morning noon and night! Call me selfish... ;)
SeepingSarcasm 7
And once again you impress! My offer stands! Marry me? :D
DustyStorm 16
Careful....you're making me grin ear to ear
DustyStorm 16
Tell that to my family....I'm the last of the bloodline. Talk about guilt trip? I just don't wanna!
SeepingSarcasm 7
Good to know you're grinning, atleast I feel less alone now! *said with a wishfull grin on my face*
DustyStorm 16
*SEG*
theycallmekitty 13
If you can see each other naked, even on your worst days, you should be able to fart around each other.
classicnathan 8
I have been there before, the awkward sexual fart..classic
mikeymayhem_87 15
You made your hubby cum and fart at the same time? Those better be tears of joys from him! That kind of result must be a magical BJ!