Self report
Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML
Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML
Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, I tried to sneakily leave my boyfriend's house at 3 a.m. without his parents knowing. I had a flat tire. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, I got up at 2 AM to grab a snack. I quietly crept down the stairs, only to find my dad, mom, and a couple of their friends having a secret poker game. Now they think I have a sleepwalking problem. FML
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Top comments
be_happy1 0
Wow that sucks, you should definitely tell your mom.
samusfox 0
Blackmail him...
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Comments (280)
jennajamison 0
Your dads the man. Honestly thats the one of the funniest thing Ive ever heard.
icantundastand 0
wow. tell your mom. nonetheless. YIKES
lawlkat 0
Well maybe if his wife would put out he wouldn't be cheating on her?
k1o2a3l4a5 0
real FML. tell your mom. she deserves to know. or even better, make him do it. not your responsibility.
Dasher42 0
Disregard #45, they're headed for some major consequences and they don't know it. Your dad doesn't deserve your mother or you. Tell your mother! Bust your dad's sorry ass for cheating, let alone for trying to make you part of his game.
Terilyn4500 0
OH MI GOSHH im sooo sorry 8*(
Dusa_fml 0
You need to tell her, that is not right of him at all, that scum.
iloveclothes 0
You should defintatley tell your mum, and its better for you to deal with your parents now instead of later. It might be hard but it will be on your mind constantly if you dont tell her. Although your dad might get angry at you for telling... it's better. OR perhaps you could convince your dad to tell her himself... it will be really hard but at least your mum and dad can sort it out properley? hopefully it all works out!
frivolous_nerd 0
tell your mom... or convince your dad to tell her.. either way, she needs to know
herby123 0
blackmail and then tell ur mum