Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML
Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML
Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, I tried to sneakily leave my boyfriend's house at 3 a.m. without his parents knowing. I had a flat tire. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, I got up at 2 AM to grab a snack. I quietly crept down the stairs, only to find my dad, mom, and a couple of their friends having a secret poker game. Now they think I have a sleepwalking problem. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
be_happy1 0
Wow that sucks, you should definitely tell your mom.
samusfox 0
Blackmail him...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (280)
pxs 0
BLACKMAIL. and tell him to stop, if you don't want to tell the mom. I can understand why you wouldn't want to tell her.
AmyBeth 0
Why the heck do people do that?! I agree with everyone else and say tell her, like ASAP too.
smchls 0
Contrary to popular opinion, the truth will NOT always set you free. The truth will cause more pain than needed. So, you're and idiot if you tell. It'd be your fault they get a divorce. Do you really want to live your life realizing you're the reason your mom and dad split up?
AshleyJ 0
He could be an acoholic.
jengen 0
Definitely tell your mother. You won't get in much trouble unlike your dad. He's going to be on the hot seat and about to get his butt whooped.
were_giraffe 2
I was going to say tell....but #174 is right. it's up to your father to tell.... and to stop. so i'd say... 1) stop sneaking out of the house yourself 2) tell dad that if he doesn't stop you'll tell mom. 3) and that if he threatens you with retribution you'll tell her anyway. 4) if he stops, do not bring it up or use it against him
jellobean 0
171 - Do you really want to hide this and then his dad can go on cheating behind her back? I'm really bad at wording things. XD But you know what I mean.
mattmag 0
Move out, then tell your mom. You won't get in trouble, and you show your mom the truth.
KoreanGuy 0
dude tell ur mom seriously which is worse? sneaking out or cheating on someone?
sostupid_fml 0
I'm sorry about this! That's upsetting