Today, my boyfriend opened the car door in a very kind and loving way. What wasn't so kind and loving was that my hand was still half-way when he closed it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was getting out of the car, my 7-year-old son opened the door for me. I thought it was very gentlemanly of him to do that, until he smashed my thumb with the car door. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Today, I thought I'd be a suave gentleman by opening the car door for my date. The handle came off in my hand, and I had to spend the next 15 minutes pretending I was doing an impromptu repair on my piece of shit car, when I had no idea what I was doing. FML
Today, after a large, dramatic fight with my girlfriend in a parking lot, we stopped arguing altogether and hugged, dropping the issue. Twenty seconds later, I accidentally slammed her hand in the car door, breaking two of her fingers. FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML
Today, while arguing with my boyfriend about how I wasn't a bad driver and could parallel park, I thought it would be easier to just let him do it. Unfortunately, while getting out of the car to switch seats, I forgot to take the car out of drive and it ran into the car in front of us. He was right. FML
Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML
Today, I was on a subway with my boyfriend and it was stopping so I grabbed the pole for support. I felt another hand grabbing onto the pole knowing it was my boyfriend's. Without looking I carressed and tickled his hand. I turned around to smile at my boyfriend. The hand wasn't his. FML
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Top comments
NitroTonicsFML 4
Gotta hand it to you, that hurts.
fashionistaGirll 0
It was just an accident no need to do a crazy disgusting revenge...
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Comments (134)
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
Ouch.
Iamnotmyself 17
That's about the time you turn into she hulk and smash the car on him, or is that just me?
daysgoby902 6
he was trying to do something nice. you're making him sound like an ass.
eminemchick 19
its the thought that counts!:) KILL HIM FOR IT. LET NO ONE ESCAPE UNHARMED.
ktateprado 0
Sleep with his dad.
CompettiveCheer 0
Or his mom..
ktateprado 0
Or his grandma.
CompettiveCheer 0
Or Chuck Norris..
eminemchick 19
i wouldnt recommend sleeping with chuck norris
Iamnotmyself 17
-48 it's even better when you're a man though. I'd recommend it.
CompettiveCheer 0
I wouldn't recommend sleeping with you..
Iamnotmyself 17
-51 Doesn't matter when 5 other people join the fun, all part of being a bisexual my dear boy.
shelbygordon44 7
He was trying to be nice. Also, shit happens. So in the end it's a FY boyfriends life for having a bitchy girlfriend.
Denikk 0
B-b-b-bones breaker !!!
AnonymousTroll 2
It seems that this situation *sunglasses* is quite a handful.
baseball6917 8
and females say chivalry is dead. it's alive but y'all don't know how to act with it. bring your hand in the car! smh...lol
mellasaurusrex 5
at least he meant well....that shouldn't kill the nice deed.
DrJesse 10
I agree with 30,quit bitchin and say "thank you sir,may i have another."
qwacktastick 8
"what wasn't so kind and loving" you made it sound like he did it on purpose. ACCIDENTS happen, get over it.
penguinonastairc 0
How does one open the door in a kind and loving way?
dogpup4 23
How is she bitchy? Her hand got trapped in a car door. Shes not annoyed with her boyfriend, shes annoyed with the fact that her hand really hurts.
daysgoby902 6
the fact that he was doing so was kind and loving. smart ass?
FarSide 23
Your hand was half-way where? Down the back of your pants scratching your ass??
Pixxio_O 11
Poo on him when he's sleeping :)
fashionistaGirll 0
It was just an accident no need to do a crazy disgusting revenge...
Pixxio_O 11
Fine.... Steal his money then :)
raphanne_fml 33
Still not fair for a simple mistake he did trying to be nice in the first place...
Pixxio_O 11
I wasn't being serious :/...
mikeyg36 6
I smell a Cleveland steamer.
Brool_Story_Co 17
Shut up then, nobody gives a shit
Pixxio_O 11
Thank you 28 :) and 27, no one seems to give a shit about your useless comment either :)
Pixxio_O 11
Urm what's a Cleveland steamer..?
ktateprado 0
^ it's a steamer from Cleveland. Duh!
Pixxio_O 11
Lol thanks 33, suddenly makes so much more sense ...
jtrem26 2
But, women don't poo do they? Sorry to foil the plan
Jas1234 0
Brool story's right, you're not aloud to joke on FML. Your comment is a waste unless it's completely serious.
Iamnotmyself 17
-49 you should have said "soil"
Pixxio_O 11
Sorry, didn't know you weren't allowed to joke, no need to make a big deal out of it
Randuhh_17 4
*allowed.
ktateprado 0
I never joke. Now go make me a sandwich.
Pixxio_O 11
Stop drinking the hatorade and drink the bubble tea :)
EvilCupcake8361 9
I thought it sounded like a good idea:)
fauxyhaha 0
That's just, uh, frightening
commietaco 0
Cleveland steamer is when someone takes a poopoo on your chest when you doing the bang bang
GTRspecV 0
lol. great expanation^^
hchardman 0
Some people should learn to take a joke(: obviously she wasnt insisting that she should shit on the guys face... Obviously it was an acciedent(:
grapist 0
Your not funny. Hey are u possibly retarded?
caligirl1623 5
She is not an animal. That is just nasty. Plus it was an accident...
Dwayzee 2
After so many thumbs down, you'd think you would have given up.
AlejandraaxD 0
He was just too excited to be with you. Accidents happen.
hudson155 0
OP did you die?
loljkgirl 0
Yes. OP wrote this FML from the other side.
NitroTonicsFML 4
Gotta hand it to you, that hurts.
kateland10 0
lol a pun
thepagal 3
**** you
VeraJK 16
^^ Win
byteolu 0
Nice
heyhihello95 12
Ulterior motive
bthomas0319 2
*Alterior
heyhihello95 12
ulterior. Look it up in the dictionary.
mynameis1339 0
It's the thought that counts
kelovath 8
Well thats one more guy who won't be having sex tonight...
HomeAl0ne 20
Yeah, at least it wasn't his hand that got hurt, then he'd really be in trouble.
raphanne_fml 33
Yeah, sex is like poker. No partner? Better have a strong hand :D
EvilPotato 15
kill his mother.
omgcookeys 15
It was an accident, calm down! No need to murder someone who's completely innocent?!
WCARlover 35
At least he thought to open it for you:)
fauxyhaha 0
20- accidents happen !!!
SadinSherman 16
His intention were good
omgcookeys 15
Ouch, at least you can still type?
Author_1242 4
With one left hand I might add.