Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said it's like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumped on my lap and vomited all over my doughnuts, stared at me, then bit the doughnut out of my hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML
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Top comments
jack_jill05 14
At least he kind of called you hot.
uhhSavage 22
My fiancé works at a cookie store so I know how he feels.
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Comments (148)
weveallbeenthere 30
if you only had bacon on you too.
amisenho 11
If doughnuts with bacon bits on them aren't a thing, they need to be a thing, like, yesterday.
godofshinobi 2
Honestly that is like perfect
Invader_Chloe 1
Well at least he's having sex with you and not an actual donut...unless he is
celinadepp 21
When I worked at a Chinese restaurant, my boyfriend would always tell me I smelled like duck.
amisenho 11
What if your significant other worked as a proctologist?
_allygator_ 9
at least you know your man thinks your delicious
weetbix 3
I've failed to see the down side to this... Seems like winning to me.
nchic01 17
i think thats adorable
sonnyrosa 32
I laughed at this... I laughed so hard. That is the best thing I've read all day. I wish I smelled and tasted like donuts after work... fish and chips is what I smell like when I come home from work... as yummy as fish and chips are, it's not a sexy smell. Smelling like cinnamon and powdered sugar would be heaven! I call this a gigantic win! And let's be honest... he's just using donuts as an excuse to pounce on his gorgeous girlfriend... definite win :)
xnemesis1981 15
He could have liked jam donuts. I know ewww right?
nachonamehere 0
Lucky work smells good on you. You could be coming home smelling like wet chicken, fresh blood soaking your clothes like my man used to. Like I said, lucky.