Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said it's like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumped on my lap and vomited all over my doughnuts, stared at me, then bit the doughnut out of my hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML
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Top comments
jack_jill05 14
At least he kind of called you hot.
uhhSavage 22
My fiancé works at a cookie store so I know how he feels.
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Comments (148)
Liamj774 36
That's just he way the cookie crumbles
False_Stupidity 42
That would work if OP worked in a cookie shop, but she works in a donut shop so FAIL.
fancy_98 19
#77 that is a popular saying and from what your reply to it, I guess you have never heard of it. What failed here is your inability to distinguish that it was a saying and not a pun.
magymofucka 9
#84 you're an idiot.
Tooorrriii3 22
I know that feeling all too well...
blazerman_fml 17
You are almost every 2nd guys fantasy.Combining the 2 things we love the most! Be proud OP!I know a lot of guys who would pay to make their girlfriends smell like amazing treats without having to face the wrath!
adnanrm18 12
you speak for pretty much all men haha! perfect answer hahah
Chibi_Kitten 24
Face the wrath sounds pretty accurate..just imagine the sticky sugar..that would feel icky.
Welshite 40
Well you even come with a donut hole. Makes sense.
trey600rr 22
that gets me hot just thinking about it!
maximus_prime 24
I'm just wondering if your boyfriend is a policeman OP.
bgon1350 4
Just make sure he eats your donut holes
LittleRed79 39
The way this is worded makes me wonder what he would do with actual hot doughnuts if you were to bring some home.
benjamn 24
I don't see the problem, donuts are awesome, sex is awesome, I just dont see a down side.
sexual_girl 15
At least he still wants you, better than him not wanting to have sex with you at all.