Today, a man on the train asked me if I had any change. I quickly responded with, "No habla ingles." He then tapped me on the shoulder and said, "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
Today, while riding the subway a homeless man got on asking for money. I went to give him a dollar but he refused because I was "of the Asian persuasion." FML
Today, a gorgeous woman on a train told her friend she thought I was hot in Spanish, assuming I was a dumb gringo tourist. In fact, I speak Spanish fluently, my wife is Colombian, and she was standing right next to me. My wife can’t rationalize my street value, and made me sleep on the fold out. FML
Today, I was chatting to a cashier I see quite a lot, trying to be as charming and as unsmarmy as possible. When she asked if I wanted the receipt, I panicked and said, "No thanks, I don’t believe in paper." She looked at me like I was an alien. FML
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
Today, I was riding the subway, reading a book, when a woman suddenly shoved a flyer over my book. Aghast by her rude gesture, I declined to take the paper. I looked over and noticed it was a flyer for a missing girl. FML
Today, a man slapped me in the face with his newspaper because I didn't get out of his way fast enough at the train station. I guess he didn't notice I was on crutches. FML
Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML
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Top comments
wesayxsummer 0
it would also be more believable if you used correct grammar.
cady18 0
would've also been more believable if you spoke correct spanish.
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Comments (199)
Shutsuji 3
You're an asshole. You should have said "No hablo ingles." Not "habla engles." And why didn't you just give him change?
Nynaeve_1 0
A: You're an asshole. If you aren't going to give him a little change, at least have the decency to tell him you have none. B: It's "No hablo ingles"
krispin1987 0
So, as far as a misspelling/grammar of a language this has been the most interesting comment thread out there that I have come across. people make mistakes all the time with the English language as well even when they speak it. Words are used out of context or simply just the wrong word all in all. For example: if he asked you if you had any change the answer could have been "yes" if you did, or "No " if you didn't. I didnt see anywhere where it said he asked if you could give him some change- but it's implied. And that's ok. you responded in Spanish (out of impulse with intentions for him to leave you alone) and that too is ok. So with your implication that you didn't want to be bothered or be giving, he retorts. At this point I think he was out of line to comment as he did. He couldn't take a hint. simply put it must have been embarrassing to be caught off guard like that. maybe a realization for both parties. Maybe be more clear as to your point/take a hint. :) One more peeve: Can is a question of ability- can you?....yes....will I?.....no :)
TheOtherMakona 0
Does anyone else know the BFS song, No Habla Inglés? Because that was the first thing to pop into my head after reading this. XD
angele727 0
"no habla inglès"
xxCandixx 1
Maybe they just don't know how to spell it, but can say it correctly
aint_she_sweet 0
Because it's obnoxious when people think they can speak other languages. Plus it's offensive sometimes.
Carlie_McCartney 1
While I agree that it'd have been more believable with correct grammar, who is he to judge? How does he know that you aren't just trying to learn the language? That's the best way to do it ^^
StaigeJ 0
You didn't even spell the words right...
canadianskier 0
It would have been believable if you used Hablo not habla...