Today, a man on the train asked me if I had any change. I quickly responded with, "No habla ingles." He then tapped me on the shoulder and said, "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
Today, while riding the subway a homeless man got on asking for money. I went to give him a dollar but he refused because I was "of the Asian persuasion." FML
Today, a gorgeous woman on a train told her friend she thought I was hot in Spanish, assuming I was a dumb gringo tourist. In fact, I speak Spanish fluently, my wife is Colombian, and she was standing right next to me. My wife can’t rationalize my street value, and made me sleep on the fold out. FML
Today, I was chatting to a cashier I see quite a lot, trying to be as charming and as unsmarmy as possible. When she asked if I wanted the receipt, I panicked and said, "No thanks, I don’t believe in paper." She looked at me like I was an alien. FML
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
Today, I was riding the subway, reading a book, when a woman suddenly shoved a flyer over my book. Aghast by her rude gesture, I declined to take the paper. I looked over and noticed it was a flyer for a missing girl. FML
Today, a man slapped me in the face with his newspaper because I didn't get out of his way fast enough at the train station. I guess he didn't notice I was on crutches. FML
Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML
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Top comments
wesayxsummer 0
it would also be more believable if you used correct grammar.
cady18 0
would've also been more believable if you spoke correct spanish.
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Comments (199)
cayytee 0
he deserves that change for outsmarting you.
be_you_tiful 8
no hablo ingles* ya. there's another reason you weren't believable.
StrikeStar928 7
it also would have been more believeable if you spoke the the spanish right... its not hablA its hablO!
gracevet88 0
And it's hablo Hablar-to speak Hablo-I speak Hablas-u speak Habla-he/she/u formal speaks Hablamos-we speak Hablan/they/ u all speak It's called congigation
DeadBitch 5
Habla means stupid in Arabic -.-'
Coalke 5
****** idiots. You really need to figure out what you're saying. "He doesn't speak English." "Who?" "Me." "What?" "He doesn't speak English!" "Either you're insane, or you don't speak Spanish either."
smolder 4
Would've worked a lot better if you spelt it right
saidoh_fml 26
When the op and some of these commenters butcher the Spanish language like this it ruins it for those of us who are trying to learn to speak/write it properly.
TechnoStew 21
Si. Tu eres correcto. Vete a la mierda autocorrect.
miniski5 11
You even conjugated the verb wrong.... *facepalm*
DumbleDoor93 7
It would be a lot more impressive if that Spanish was actually correct...