Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, my daughter couldn't find a hair tie and thought a piece of duct tape would be a perfectly fine substitute. FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
Today, I overheard a lady tell her child in a store that, “If you don’t stop crying, I’ll tell that guy over there to take you away.” She was referring to me. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I still call it duck tape because I use it to tape the mouths of quacking idiots like that guy. What a bird brain.
devildog562 33
You should have popped that douche in his mouth . Any guy that talks like that deserves an ass whooping.
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Comments (307)
cr500guy 11
What an ass. I wouldn't correct an adult like that much less a small child.
cherrycokelove 8
I would a nutted the moron and then when he fell to his knees I woulda let my kid knock him in the teeth
faireanjell 5
I would've punched the douchecanoe
lmbachman 23
Douchecanoe = funniest thing I've heard all day. And I'm a whitewater kayaker and my fiancé is a whitewater boater, which makes it all that much funnier.
taurosx3 2
You should've told that guy off. Wtf? Stand up for your daughter.
xluciferx666 21
If he had said that to my daughter he would have been knocked flat on his Ass then I would have made him apologize. No reason to talk to a child like that ever
dicamillo27 11
please say you chewed his ass out
miracoria 10
I would have hit a bitch.
fml_user_314 6
there's a brand called duck tape so she's kinda right
ameliaruth09 15
so inappropriate beyond words. makes me so mad. how dare he
Angelkisses130 26
...you mean it's not called duck tape...?
dark_angel4121 12
There is a brand of tape called Duck Tape.
shelzykid 12
There is a brand of duct tape called Duck Tape, but no the name of the object is not actually duck tape, although it sounds like it.