Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, my daughter couldn't find a hair tie and thought a piece of duct tape would be a perfectly fine substitute. FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
Today, I overheard a lady tell her child in a store that, “If you don’t stop crying, I’ll tell that guy over there to take you away.” She was referring to me. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I still call it duck tape because I use it to tape the mouths of quacking idiots like that guy. What a bird brain.
devildog562 33
You should have popped that douche in his mouth . Any guy that talks like that deserves an ass whooping.
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Comments (307)
theprophecy 5
wtf old man?
Turtle_Man 21
Middle aged, actually
gabwielle 8
Still old man. You know how people refer to their dad's as "my old man"?
DomiLove 26
Isn't that how they refer to their spouse not dad?
teentee401 37
I've only ever heard of it used for dads.
DippinGrizzly907 27
Ok, that's defiantly not a reference for the male spouse... "The Old Man" is referring to ones father while "My Old Lady" is for ones girlfriend/honey/lover, oddly enough...
mellajella 14
Really, who says that to a kid?
JennaNGood 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I take it I'm the only one in these comments that laughed at this FML? Okay, good.
octinate 17
I wouldn't have taken her home just yet. I would let her bawl in the old mans ears for a little longer, then taken her for an ice cream treat.
BlondePsycho 43
Crazy people?
Welshite 40
I still call it duck tape because I use it to tape the mouths of quacking idiots like that guy. What a bird brain.
Adeptus_Astartes 22
Yeah... that's when you're supposed to beat the sh** out of him, mom.
MrConcise 35
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
The proper term is "shit bird". This has been Mr. Concise schooling you in irrelevant slang, and I'm signing off.
cantik20 5
That's quite an insult for the birds. He's wayyyy far more than that. Nasty middle age bastard ??
Ichiya 29
IF that guy survived and I do mean if he survived he would have wished otherwise.
Silver7827 14
for the record, there is a brand of duct tape called duck tape
labaro19 17
Your response made my day
Mightytall 35
Some companies have even picked up on that common pronunciation and market their tapes with little duckies on the packaging... That guy needs to chill and watch his language in front of children especially!
laden_swallow09 35
188- You are correct, sir.
the_real_dvd 21
Fyi there is a brand of duct tape called Duck Tape. And OP, please tell me where you live so I can track this old man down and kick the rest of his teeth in.
devildog562 33
You should have popped that douche in his mouth . Any guy that talks like that deserves an ass whooping.
annarcheer 19
I know right!! Especially to a little child! No child should ever be talked to like that.
1dvos_grl3 21
Hell, when I was a kid I called it duck tape! I'm sure every kid does!
devildog562 33
I still do and I've being working construction side jobs besides my other job. Duck tape always quacks me up.
marcranger 29
53, I'm 30 and say those two words so quickly that you can't really tell if I've said "duck tape" or "duct tape." I'm sure I'm not the only one for whom they're kind of indistinguishable.
VeganVampyre 27
74, that's what I was thinking... Usually you can't even tell the difference. Which is why most kids end up thinking it is called "duck" tape; that's what it sounds like. Unless you say it really slowly and enunciate really clearly. But who has time for that?
jthmtwin 16
My fist would have found his face so fast. He would need "duct tape" to hold it together. No one would ever talk to my daughter that way, calling a 6 year old a ****. Grow the hell up.
thes7274473 19
That would be assault, but that douche definitely deserved a good shouting at and possibly a smack
gobiteme2 34
The guy deserves a swift kick in pelvic area then he can be a dumb ****.
Ichiya 29
He would be lucky if assulting him was all I did. Very lucky.
devildog562 33
# 130. Yelling is assault, while slapping him or punching the asshole is battery. Plus I'll tell you right now , if anyone talked to my 6 year old daughter like that, I would be standing in front of a federal judge. I look good in blue and orange anyhow.
sturschaedel 27
53&74 Exactly! I thought it was called Duck Tape until I read on the package that it was actually called Duct Tape. By that time I was way older than 6, probably at least 10, because before that age I didn't know how English pronounciation works. And when pronounced fast you can't really hear the difference. I usually say it as one word: "ductape".
Kielnmsoftly 26
Anybody' male, female, or mayonnaise. Let's end the inequality people.
kirasant 19
I'd have definitely hurt the guy. In a heart beat. Besides that, the name brand of the stuff IS Duck Tape, complete with a duck logo. No one gets upset when you say Kleenex instead of facial tissue. As far as I'm concerned, both duck and duct is right. OP should have beaten him with a roll of name brand Duck Tape. A big one.
Ltsdragons 19
I'm pretty sure a lot of children call it 'duck tape' there's really no "right" way to say it. Especially since her daughter is only 6, makes the guy even more like an asshole. You don't say that to anyone. Like anyone. Whether they're 30 or 6, thats not right
Bigfabthetruth52 22
it's not even that serious honestly
anonymous100000 17
at Wal-Mart, they do sell it and it's called duck tape
patrickalamo 48
Duck brand duct tape
doodlecloud 27
Plus if you say duck and tape together it sounds almost exactly like duct tape anyway. And vice versa. It's one of the few words that you can say wrong and still sound like you said it right.
Levvy 22
No, it's still called duct tape, but Duck Tape is a specific brand thereof. I doubt they were shopping for any that specifically though. None of this excuses that stupid POS' behavior, though.
drbobbz 16
"Duck tape" is a brand of duct tape, so long as he's pointing out ignorance. What an ass.
gracehi 33
RIGHT??? I'd have screamed that fact at that guy, made him look like a moron to everyone around, and bitched him out for disrespecting my daughter. I might have even slapped the guy if I was feeling froggy enough. Ooooooh, my blood is boiling and I don't even know OP or her daughter.
domolovesyoshi 33
There is a fashion brand called duck tape
phaelnb 26
Duck tape is actually a brand that sells duct tape, meaning the old man is an idiot AND an asshole
gamernation89 10
I would have got the manager and told them he wouldn't be allowed back in or had to apologize
popsvb01 9
wuss
Monstervenom 8
This doesnt seem realistic. if it were my kid it would be a life lesson on how to deal with people like that.
ChoolyBooly 32
I was thinking the same thing #8.
BBeffedmylife 28
It's a shame you couldn't use the "DUCT" tape to shut that jerk up!
CliffyB03 28
It's both, depending on the brand
denaeb123 24
Some people can be so rude because their lives are shit so they take it out on others! Its an awful situation but you can turn it into a lesson for your daughter and tell her how you should always be polite to others and not mean to random people because of your own sorrow. sorry that happened op!
Brandi_Faith 34
Agreed! Totally use this as a teaching opportunity.