Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I saw a woman drop her wallet in the grocery store. Being a good citizen, I sprinted after her to return it. She heard me running, panicked and took off. I ended up chasing her through three aisles saying, “Wait! I have your wallet!” Security got involved. FML
Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, I encountered a madman who threw a bottle at me and hurt me. In a fit of rage, I beat him up, and as a result I was taken to the police station, and ordered to pay compensation for everything. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
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Top comments
eltapatio16 5
You deserve an apology.
SlimShady167 3
Psh, what a dumb bitch. FYL
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Comments (217)
eltapatio16 5
You deserve an apology.
schpanki 11
Indeed, YDI! (the apology, of course)
SCREAM4meeee 0
People are ******* stupid.
ImFrackinBored 13
And more...
NKG7896 3
yeah that womens probly just going to drop it again. What a dumbass
changesinme 0
she treated you a hotdog didn't she! kicking you in the groin was just her way of saying thank you! well, apart from you being in the police station
7mood75 7
What's with the chasing here on FML lately?
CHizzy963369 3
What a bitch. At least you didnt get convicted of stealing
tjv3 10
no good deed goes unpunished . next time just throw it away or maybe start yelling at the person before you get there that they dropped it. I would file assault charges just because she was a douch
swimchica22 0
32- she sent him to the police station because she was impressed with his bravery and wanted to offer him a job as head police officer.
stro88 6
Shoulda dropped kicked that ho and ran away again with the wallet. I'm sure you coulda used the money :-) no one can say you didn't try bud.
fatgirllovesfml 0
Karma well do the rest ;)
Damn_Hippster 11
Who do you think you are doing good deeds like that?! (sarcasm)
Damn_Hippster 11
Who do you think you are doing good deeds like that?! (sarcasm)
Damn_Hippster 11
Hhhh. Didn't mean to post that twice :p
EvilPotato 15
what kind of a robber would that be anyway, steal your stuff then he show it to you.
krazy_glu3 0
People nowadays are making it hard to do good deeds. Sheesh
GardeningHoes 0
Wait... Is that why I always get caught?
GardeningHoes 0
That was meant for 102
xSwaGKinGx 0
in this kind of economy humanity is a shame
Jammy01jams 2
57 - my motto is that first four words
StoryOfTheYear 15
Phree chili!!
Daralea 21
agree with tjv3. Assault charges FTW!
SlimShady167 3
Psh, what a dumb bitch. FYL
imaberry95 0
You should have kicked her bitch ass
MichellinMan 20
More like a fat bitch.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Rofl 2 ur pic goes perfect with ur comment
Uncle_Moe_Lester 3
Op I'm guessing you read fmls if ur posting so this is totally a YDI because this app has proven that you can't help anyone these days
Euronymous93 29
Stupid bitch doesn't deserve good people like you helping her if she's just going to be ungrateful and rude to you, OP. Hope everything was sorted out!
Bravo11 14
Shouldn't Steal Then. Duh.
ImmaB3AST 7
Why Do People Talk Like This? What's The Point...?
Bravo11 14
Shit. I know it's lame. I couldn't think of anything and got excited to stumble upon a chance to be first. I didn't want to say FIRST! :D Though...cause that's worse. I failed either way though. I apologize to my fellow FMLers.
skata 4
40- what is the point of your comment?
Bravo11 14
Lol nothing now. My original post was #3. it's no longer there. It was instantly thumbed down multiple times.
KentuckyRebel92 8
Dont Pick it up next time
MagicallyFat 12
No good deed goes unpunished. Sorry to hear
sxe_beast 11
Actually just keep it next time.
GlitteryMasakali 1
"no good deed goes unpunished"
GlitteryMasakali 1
88 I'm sorry for my unintentional copying of your post. I shouldve read before posting.
Georgieeporgiee 9
Next time just keep it
jajajapun 5
What do you mean by "next time"? It's not like she's going to drop her wallet around him ever again.
sxe_beast 11
I meant next time you see an innocently dropped wallet just keep it. Lesson learned.
failsammich 0
this sounds like something in a movie
jumikate 0
No... not really.
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
If that was in a movie the movie would be bullshit
Duladian 19
She deserves to have had it taken!
JPChiQYaya 0
7 - Cool story bro ; tell it again.
Duladian 19
Sorry, apparently it double posted. I'd delete it if I knew how.
Duladian 19
She deserves to have had it taken!
yojo62 5
So your picture of you aiming a gun is allowed but mine of just holding a bazooka isn't lol
DrewsFML 8
ikr, look's like he's making a last stand a Waco for chrissakes and that pic is okay?
R4P3DwithALOHA 0
thts un fair
Duladian 19
I'm actually sitting in a friends room in iraq >_>
WTSchool 0
Was the hotdog okay?
ArcadePie 10
Was that suppose to make me laugh?
WTSchool 0
Was I asking for a bitch comment?
leadman1989 16
That made me laugh. :)
AnagenisisZagus 13
26, Is he supposed to care about how you feel?
amoscore 5
The fact that this comment got so many thumbs down made me laugh.
sccrismyantidrg 4
#8 made me giggle out loud :)
False_Stupidity 42
8 is naturally concerned about the welfare of the poor hotdog who was the victim in this FML...
False_Stupidity 42
8 is naturally concerned about the welfare of the poor hotdog who was the victim in this FML...
ThreeSheetsGone 12
No good deed goes unpunished, OP. It's a crazy world we live in.
Jammy01jams 2
My motto :D
ImmaB3AST 7
nothing good comes out of being nice.
TylerOMFG 7
But most of the time it is.
KennKenn 0
Nice guys always finish last. If you know what I mean.