Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, after my cute girlfriend got out of the shower and was walking over to our bed. I asked, "Now that you're all clean, want to sit on my face?" To which she replied, "Ya sure, I've not gone poop yet." FML
Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
st3buck3n 0
Shit happens
Doortje 30
His mouth said "Sure", but his ass said "No way".
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Comments (68)
kornpuffs 0
how is this a fml? the man had to poop! you still got to take your shower together!
FairyTales_fml 6
is that a guy thing? my husband always have to poop before he showers lol
cautioninc 0
Guys tend to try & poop before showering because your butt gets cleaner in the shower than it does when you just use TP (most US doesn't have bidets). OP deserved it, she should have just waited. If her hubby was smart, he would have said he had to take care of some stuff & he'd call her when the shower was warm for her :)
mrssuarez2011 12
Mine does too
MaddaCheeb 0
sounds like a shitty situation.
ALBATROSS9080 0
so what? people poop
Sassybq1 13
oooooh shot down! lol jk, u did still go right?
sum1two 0
How is this an FML? because he had to poop?
Camoturdle 0
When yuve gotta go yuve gotta go my friend
5t3ff1k4h 45
you've* Did you miss that lesson in grade school?
GawZ 0
oh sounds like a great time for a cleveland steamer!!
TTEmeraldRaven 3
What's wrong with that? If you have to go, you have to go!
ulicksam 0
You're married to him so you should know by now that he *****. Would you rather he shit after the shower or have sex while trying to hold it in? No wonder your romance needs rekindling. You're a bitch.
5t3ff1k4h 45
Please. This doesn't make her a bitch unless she told him off about it. All she meant was that she made a romantic comment and received a very unromantic response. The husband didn't have to tell her that; he could have said give me a few minutes and I'll let you know when the water's ready, as someone already suggested, so that the moment wasn't dampened.
rasta_pasta 4
Why was he supposed to keep the moment for her sake? If he's the kind of person that doesn't feel romantic after dropping a deuce his response is totally justified. Or he could not be interested in "romantic time" in a crowded shower when all he really wanted to do was clean up. He has no responsibility to constantly satisfy her need for "romance".
5t3ff1k4h 45
No, I understand that. If he didn't want a romantic shower with her, he could just say that. If he did want her in the shower with him, since most women don't take pride in hearing about a guy's ******** escapades, he should keep it to himself. Everyone poops; it's a known and (usually) unspoken fact. That doesn't mean we all want to hear about it.