Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, after my cute girlfriend got out of the shower and was walking over to our bed. I asked, "Now that you're all clean, want to sit on my face?" To which she replied, "Ya sure, I've not gone poop yet." FML
Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
st3buck3n 0
Shit happens
Doortje 30
His mouth said "Sure", but his ass said "No way".
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Comments (68)
epic_mel 0
Who says that romance is dead?!
alicec123 0
everyone has to poop sometime, honey.
sabresrock 0
I agree
Jared900DUmpling 30
If only there was a button for that, 50
Prolusive 5
And the shitty puns are going to come floating in.
YouCanHaveACoke 0
So he wanted to take a crap at his home after a long day. Come on, OP. YDI if you gave up after that.
DjeePee 25
It would be lame is she gave up. He even agreed with her idea.
kitkat536 0
I'd be more happy that you two are so comfortable with each other. knowing you are so close is romantic in its own way.
jackieeoo 0
atleast he said yes
perdix 31
Blumpkin!!!
CreateZ 0
Perdix, I cannot tell you how eagerly I was looking through the comments for that. You just made my day.
NikkiLynn65 0
Haha
Cass3m0 0
OP using the word 'announced' made me think the situation went like this..."SWEETHEART! I need to inform you that today there will be a shower ocurring in this bathroom. Goo- Okay, but first I need to poop. ;3" Nature called him, OP. It'd be rude to hang up.
Ronniieeambrose 0
hmm what a cute thing to say!!!!!!:/ what a turn on..
Christyann123 1
are you one of those people who got married after knowing each other for six months? how are you not comfortable enough with each other that this is not a big deal? you're both human for goodness sake!
onepluszero 0
38, I don't think this is about comfort. More about the fact that the guy ruined what ladies call 'the moment' by announcing his need to shit - when clearly, her intention was to ****.
Katana9990 3
i hate humans