Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has known for years, except for me and my older brother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I just found out that my brother in law and his wife frequent a swingers establishment that me and the wife have visited. Which is OK I suppose (providing we never see each other there) but he told me his parents go there too. FML
Today, my boyfriend let me in on a little family secret. His brothers often swap girlfriends and wives. They insist it’s not weird because the siblings themselves aren’t doing anything together, just the in-laws. It’s still too close for comfort and too weird to ignore. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I introduced our parents to each other, and they seemed to have already met somewhere, so I asked them about it. At first they seemed shifty, then guilty, then admitted everything. They’ve actually known each other for decades as part of the same swingers group. FML
Today, due to my parents divorcing 30 years ago, marrying other people, and giving me a handful of half siblings, I found myself in the uniquely unpleasant situation of walking in on my sister having sex with my brother. (Stop panicking, they’re not blood related to each other, work it out!) FML
Today, I learned that not only is my husband having an affair with my own mother, but my whole family knew. They were keeping it a secret from me for 3 months. FML
Today, my dad's face flushed when I introduced him to my new boyfriend. I live in a small town, and it turns out my dad recognized him. He's the secret child from an affair two decades ago. He's my half-brother. FML
Today, I found out the truth about my parents’ divorce and why our family is so distant. Turns out my dad had an affair with not one, but two of my mom’s sisters. And that my youngest cousin is also my half-sister. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home for dinner. My mom was being unusually quiet, so I thought she was trying to be polite. After dinner, she pulled me aside and asked why I'd never mentioned that my girlfriend had dated my brother. Apparently everyone knew except me. FML
Today, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with his girl bestie for 4 years. I also found out he's been having threesomes with his male bestie. Both people have been around me and my family this entire time. We've been married for 15 years. Joke's on me. FML
Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Darth_Taco 14
Oh wow...what do you even say to that? Well, when it comes time to leave home, I suggest you and your brother go far away XP.
Smiley_70 22
OK - things like this - you don't need to know about your folks. Best thing is to realise it is their issue to deal with - nothing you can do. Just be glad you haven't walked in on them!
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Comments (146)
Darth_Taco 14
Oh wow...what do you even say to that? Well, when it comes time to leave home, I suggest you and your brother go far away XP.
fnool 0
I don't get it. What's wrong with her parents having a sex life, and what business is it of hers?
confabulatedgod 0
I completely agree. They let you form your own narrow-minded opinion & didn't 'expose' you to something outside the box, so shut the **** up. Bitch. I'm sure you'll makes some man very 'happy' and he'll cheat on you b/c mission for procreation is not the point of sex.
Indiana_fml 4
That line reminds me of a great IKEA commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6tI3gMgRJg ^^ Though I can't help but wonder what's worse...
regalarius 0
I agree with #14 - good for them for having an interesting sex life. Even better for them for maintaining a three-way relationship for a long time - not everyone can do that.
bethechange_fml 0
Its not about having a sex life. You can have sex, its just weird to see your mom and dad having it with another person. i personally would never talk to my parents again because generally, freaks only do that
hellobananas 0
There isn't anything wrong with a sex life. I think the problem is is that the "family friend" may have been doing that for YEARS, in other words before the kids were born? So I think the OP may even be wondering exactly who her real father/mother is depending on the gender of the friend.
PimpinPenguin 0
Yeah let ythem have an open sex life that way you can join in on it the more the merrier!!!
Renee4Echelon 15
I have to agree with #51. There's nothing wrong with their sex life. If that's thats how they find their pleasure then so be it. I'm sure the only thing that threw off the OP was that it was a "family friend", someone you've probably known and trusted hooking up with BOTH your parents. I would've been a little shaken too, but not to the point of never speaking to those three again
Smiley_70 22
OK - things like this - you don't need to know about your folks. Best thing is to realise it is their issue to deal with - nothing you can do. Just be glad you haven't walked in on them!
heyyou1203 0
agreed. it's their business. of course you don't want to know; but if they like 3somes then let them be! their marriage seems to be working out well so whatever floats their boat!
swooshq 0
...maybe that's how she found out about the "family friend" and her parents' threesome
hattergonemad 10
Alright, this is bullshit. Why SHOULDN'T they know about someone who is obviously an important and complete part of their relationship? The issue here is that they feel the need to lie about it. My relationship happily consists of three people, and my 14 year old son is well aware of it. He absolutely adores our girlfriend and they have an awesome relationship.
davidmgray91 0
is the "family friend" a man or a woman?
thattickles 0
doesn't really matter, the parents are freaks either way.
zargon 1
Umm... how exactly are they freaks? Besides the parts where their sex life isn't really harming or affecting you at all, or really anybody for that matter, it's not like it's an uncommon sort of thing, either.
MeMeMe123455 0
Being a swinger isn't being a freak. On the contrary, a lot of swingers I know are actually quite vanilla in bed. It's not 'kink,' it's just a way of life.
EireGoBragh 1
This would be polyamory, not swinging.
katelynmarie 0
Actually, for it to be polygamy, they'd all have to be married. So, your parents are swingers, haha.
hellobananas 0
They said polyamory, not polygamy. Swingers would have sex with multiple different partners at different times, not one continual threesome. Polyamory it is.
Babiebkb123 0
Let's hope this doesn't turn into ANOTHER huge debate about polygamy, polyamory, etc like on the other FML...
plexico 4
Yes, it does matter. If it was a woman, I'm showing this FML to my wife. If it's a man, I'm HIDING this FML from my wife.
diet_otaku 0
you would deny your wife the opportunity to get porked in both holes at once? how sad... :(
zargon 1
This isn't (necessarily) polyamory, either. I should know, I, since I'm poly (and the most vocal person in that other thread). Polyamory is, in short, about not being restricted to a single relationship at a time. This doesn't mean threesomes, nor do threesomes mean polyamory.
hattergonemad 10
Also worth noting that they may not be swingers. I'm certainly not a swinger, my relationship is a closed triad. Me, my fiance, our girlfriend.
trishzac 0
=/ im hoping they became a threesome after concieving u guys.. :S really FYL :S
Darth_Taco 14
I had a cousin conceived through a threesome :O! I really wish this was a dumb internet lie. As Mark Twain said, "The difference between fact and fiction, is that fiction needs to make sense."
domii_fml 0
ROFL, yeah i don't think i'd be able to look the same at that family friend anymore..
jdubbs2009 0
#4they aren't freaks if the third is a hot chick
hellobananas 0
They aren't freaks either way. And the hotness of who may or may not be a chick has nothing to do with it. It's polyamory, not ****. Besides, who says it can't be two guys and a girl?
Ughsucks 0
I think the definition of a "freak" is someone who has sex with ugly people... especially multiple ugly people. It doesn't matter if their sex life is "unusual"... freakness is dictated by the intelligence of their choices. If it's some hideous man his father is doing up the butt then I'd say the guy is an idiot.
starfish7 18
huh?
Overcast117 5
Awesome - +1 for your parents.
risenphoenixkai 0
I don't really see the problem here.
Loser390 0
Okay then. Watch your mom and dad and a "friend" banging and tell me you weren't affected pyschologically.
fenrisulfr 0
Just leave them be, they have a healthy (although not so usual) sex-life. And I hope they only started it before u guys were born...
SlamChowder 0
I think the FML is that they weren't informed about it sooner...
lunaticsol 0
Agreed, that's the only remotely unfortunate element of this story.