Today, while on the road, I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up, and pissing off, several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML
Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML
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Top comments
twilighter_644 0
how on earth do you have a license?
AdamGD 0
Wtf? When did a dog have time to take a large crap on a highway???
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Comments (148)
Courtnaayy 0
Why would there be dog shit in the middle of the road?
hbc150 0
A
The_Unspool 0
NO animal is worth more than a human life (well, the average human). What happens when you slam on the brakes to save the dog running across the road to take a crap and you force someone else to run off the road and kill themselves. You should get your license revoked.
jet_fml 0
I really hope you were in an area where turtles are generally on the road, or else... wow, smart move.
120674 0
I think it was very nice of her, i don't think i would've done it myself. but, way to have a good heart :).
jackfm5 0
sounds pretty fake how does a dog crap on the highway
andy311 0
she might have meant well, but in most people's opinion, a tiny animal isnt worth risking getting into a potentially serious accident.
120674 0
true that, but still. it's good to see someone out there is still nice enough to take time out of there day to help. :) ...just this wasn't a very good situation to be that nice person.
amsilent 0
bad
CallMeHush 1
So it was a turtle shaped pile of shit? Did you manage to safely move it to the side of the road?
etatheta 0
What is wrong with people...YES lets all slam on our breaks possibly cause a multi car pileup. THEN walk across onto oncoming traffic cause them to slam on their breaks and possibly cause a pileup on that sice for a damn turtle! yes, lets cause thousands of dollars in damage and possibly kill someone, but for the love of god dont hurt a turtle!
andy311 0
a turtle isnt worth the possibility of an accident.