Today, while on the road, I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up, and pissing off, several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML
Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML
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Top comments
twilighter_644 0
how on earth do you have a license?
AdamGD 0
Wtf? When did a dog have time to take a large crap on a highway???
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Comments (148)
BILMAN 0
do you realize how retarded you are?! how can you not notice it, smell it and why the **** would you care about it?! OR youre story has a meaning to it. YOU are the pile of dogshit! you picked yourself up!
etatheta 0
OK if your on a side street ok thats fine...BUT A HIGHWAY good god people are idiots
deja54 0
You're an idiot. You shouldn't be coming to an abrupt stop on the highway unless it's a matter of life and death. And not a matter of life and death for a ******* turtle.
cheyenne17_fml 0
a Highway!? Common, like turtles don't just lay in the middle of a "highway" A Private Road yah.. But I do the same all the time haha! And yea, how does shit get in the middle of this "highway" anyways!?
deja54 0
I hope to god you are not in a position of authority to make decisions that could affect other people.
AppaLuv 0
Obviously you have never been to Virginia (where she's from) or anywhere in the south. Turtles and other beasties cross busy highways, interstates, 4-ways, ect. because the roads are all cut through dense wooded areas--basically their habitats. Now the dog shit part I believe because she describes it as a 2-laned highway so it probably has houses along it and, viola, dogs.
nanab10 0
HAHAHAHAHA
Tripodi 0
you are a ******* idiot OP...why the **** would you give a shit if its a turtle? so what? kill it? all things die eventually, dont risk your life for some ******* animal.
shewasalmost18 0
my bad, next time i wont walk my dog on the highway
Laci_Laine 0
I stopped on a road once to try to save a turtle that was on it's back in the road but it turned out to already be in a pool of it's own blood :( and it was on a country road so I wasn't endangering anyone
ohrevoir 0
YDI for getting turtle and tortoise confused. turtles live in the sea.
ohsheeeet 0
YDI for being a dumbass