Today, while on the road, I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up, and pissing off, several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML
Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML
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Top comments
twilighter_644 0
how on earth do you have a license?
AdamGD 0
Wtf? When did a dog have time to take a large crap on a highway???
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Comments (148)
DarkenedLies 9
You need your license taken.
worldclassrager 41
I really hope you didn't pick it up...
droxursox319 8
Never stop for animals on the highway. It's not worth it - you could get people killed instead.
JesterJack734 11
Well, at least you were stopping in hopes of saving something's life. However, it is very unsafe to hammer on your brakes.
MankDemes 15
It was a turdle
TisButAScratch 10
Well your heart was in the right place, I guess?
Zen-THC 7
Your a ******* moron no shit they were mad at you if you ******* SLAMMED on your break while still in a ******* lane of the highway I wish you got hit we really need to weed out the ******* dumbasses of this country