Today, while on the road, I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up, and pissing off, several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML
Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML
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Top comments
twilighter_644 0
how on earth do you have a license?
AdamGD 0
Wtf? When did a dog have time to take a large crap on a highway???
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Comments (148)
jeffracecar24 0
at least you didnt touch it
JarJarBinks_fml 0
#10 don't be petty. #4 has a point, how does something have time take a shit on the highway in between the numerous vehicles travelling along it?
redbluegreen 41
I'm thinking maybe there might've been traffic previously, and a driver's dog had to go, so they simply rolled down the window when they came to a stop. I can see it happening.
valuemeal2 1
Why the **** would you stop for a turtle on a highway anyway? Fail.
Hayis4horses 0
well if i were a turtle i would have been very grateful that you stopped to help. it was a nice thought. you are a good person for going out of your way like that!
AppaLuv 0
Here here! I would have done the same thing.
me_right_one 0
19 and 76, you are both idiots
freddie_fml 0
I think you're awesome. Even if you were wrong, you tried to help a turtle. I once watched in horror as a car ran over a turtle in the middle of the street before I could stop to move it. Not a pretty sight. You just gained some karma points. Good on you.
humorizer 14
I was driving once and a bird landed in front of my car, so I slowed down and proceeded to honk. The bird flew away and I was kind of sad for being mean to it. My life is average.
your_face 15
...Not all of them. Not all turtles actually live in water.
breakthesky 0
Yeah, that's pretty dangerous.
drf610 0
haha, win
missbrunettgirl 0
These are the kind of things people do that cause major accidents!
Tehalon 0
Buy glasses.
aback 5
You can join PETS--People for Ethical Treatment of Shit.