Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML
Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML
Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML
Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML
Today, I got so angry at losing in FIFA, I punched a hole in my wall and strained my back and neck doing it. Now I have to lie down on my back because it's too painful to move. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
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Top comments
Not_Impressed13 9
"I just wanna bang on my drum all day!"
95DeVille 13
He just appreciates your assets.
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Comments (136)
thatsabiggun 11
He might as well have some fun while he's at it right?
baseballdude1283 18
I'm so sorry he does this, I will help you out. I would do this for you, not for me...I will be your designated bongo player
michael666 7
I can't not read this is a douche persian accent
GingaNinja01 15
And what exactly is a "douche persian accent"?
dimple13194 10
What beat to which song
emmapz 5
that's true love!
strawberrywine22 30
I know how you feel! My husband is convinced my butt exists purely for his amusement.
hayjay2000 8
I feel you should tell him this if you don't like it.. make sure he doesn't think your body is only for his amusement..
Maccaroney 11
Contrary to popular opinion, men generally don't read minds. It is up to you to tell him what you want or don't want.
randompizzaguy 17
#121 Is right, and please don't make subtle hints.
TrinityNevada 11
Your boyfriend sounds like a jerK! I know I tried to do yoga/relaxed breathing/meditation with one boyfrien dand he responded by purposely scaring me because it was funny to him to have me "all relaxed and not paying attention" and then scare me. or, if I was "bent over" doing yoga, he felt I was, "asking for it" when he grabbed my ass. I would totally dump the guy. Seriously. What a asshat
lirideout 10
You my friend, sound a little stuck up to me.
SuperStormCindy 8
I don't know what world you're living in. You sound like a stuck-up prick. No wonder your relationship didn't work. It's harmless playing while he's doing what he was asked to do.
MissBehavin77 18
Damn, loosen up a little bit. You sound like an uptight bitch. The guy is just having a little bit of flirty fun is all.
GirlGamer12345 22
Her boyfriend seems a little dumb. If she's mad about scaring her don't grab her butt.. But why would OP do that. Her boyfriends probably trying to make the mood less awkward or tense. He's just not that good at it
TrinityNevada 11
I'm actually really floored at how many hate votes I got for this. REALLY!?! I'M the bad guy here?!? Um, no. It's pretty simple. If person A makes it clear that they don't want their butt touched, then it should be that simple: don't touch their butt. Period. There's no stuck-up about it, it's called respecting a basic boundary. I realize not everyone is "good" at making a tense situation amusing like one person suggested, but it shouldn't be that hard to respect personal space. I'm genuinely confused as to why I'm constnatly the one in the wrong because I *gasp* set boundaries. Normally, I bend over backward and do cartwheels just to have people not be mad at me and the few boundaries i set (aka not touching my butt) I'm the bad guy? ReallY? Um, no. no wonder my relationships didn't work? Really? Well yes, they worked just fine when I shut up and backed downa nd did it THEIR way, but I'm SICK of that! The second I stand up for myself, I'm stuck up somehow? Um ... no. It's called basic respect and yeah, I do expect that. I shouldn't have to lower my standards.
sardonique 11
#89 Calm down, bro.
oscillation26 3
generally in relationships you have to be OK with some butt touching. if you are not OK with being touched then there may be a bigger issue at work than your boyfriend not listening to your requests...
hayjay2000 8
I would be a little pissed too... If she clearly said "don't touch me", "don't touch my butt", or anything similar that was totally not okay (especially if he said she was "asking for it" because she was bending over)
squideth 18
I'm pretty disgusted by how many idiots in this comment thread think that being in a relationship means you can touch and grab and do whatever you want to your significant other. Guess what, it doesn't. Even when in a relationship', you respect the other person's body and wishes, and only touch them when you know it's consensual. It's obvious this girl doesn't want her butt touched, yet her boyfriend continues to do so. That's wrong, end of story.
avapaige1234 19
My mind is forming a cute image of a sweet couple. But then again, expectations > reality
weveallbeenthere 30
you must have a great ass if he likes smacking it all the time.
adair112 15
at least u know he likes your ass take it as a compliment and laugh with him
azurajade97 8
Wheel around and slap him hard in the face. He'll stop.
Sassie8810 9
I'm guessing that could be pretty painful, considering OP already has a sore back.