Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML
Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML
Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML
Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML
Today, I got so angry at losing in FIFA, I punched a hole in my wall and strained my back and neck doing it. Now I have to lie down on my back because it's too painful to move. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
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Top comments
Not_Impressed13 9
"I just wanna bang on my drum all day!"
95DeVille 13
He just appreciates your assets.
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Comments (136)
Not_Impressed13 9
"I just wanna bang on my drum all day!"
gjikvtj 18
At least he's not doing the Tyler the Creator ass trampoline
incoherentrmblr 22
Needs more Cowbell. Gotta have more Cowbell...
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
At least he's not sneaking up on you like an indian warrior and giving you surprise anal.
sammyjanette 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So girls should be grateful that their boyfriends aren't forcing sex acts on them now? That says something quite terrible about the state of boyfriends.
iAlissa 34
#18, if you look above you, you can perhaps spot the joke that flew way over your head. No really, lighten up.
marzipanimal 15
#18 I agree
mageepaigeee44 15
Rape jokes aren't funny. Go ahead and thumb me down but it scares me that people would thumb down those who speak out against rape jokes and then thumb up the person who made one. Go ahead and tell me to lighten up but I won't because its not ******* funny.
95DeVille 13
He just appreciates your assets.
cakefete2 31
Yea, a nice ass is a wonderful thing. *listens to the drumming* from the sound of things OP...
1234ideclare 7
the rare art of ass drumming
okudatwo 11
Finally somebody recognizes that it is truly a lost art. I was lucky enough to be blessed with the skills to do it on myself. Lol
okudatwo 11
Edit from last: When I said do it on myself, I meant my stomach. And it was a sarcastic comment.
person961 9
Music helps heal all the pain! Feel the music and you will heal
tifdunc 14
I'm sure she can feel the music
sjbartholome 14
unless its Gangnam style
kaablam 17
Well let's just hope the music isn't hurting her further. If it's lower back pain, or even wild drumming.. it probably doesn't feel that great.
tumtum888 12
I can see how that can be inconvenient
Lebeaugars95 20
but having your head in someone's ass is fine right
Yeshua_fml 19
He sounds like a fun guy. Just enjoy the playfull attention.
cryssycakesx3 23
depending on how she hurt her back, this could be quite painful.
Sassie8810 9
Hopefully her boyfriend wouldn't do it, if it was causing her extra pain. That would just be cruel.
Joshwarrior 39
Lol i do the same to my gf it's the best drumset known to man (:
A_Twerking_Koala 9
He sounds more like a pain in the ass.
thelittlemissy 29
BA DUM TSS
feelingold 18
or DA BUM TSS
jdesa 2
Just fart, then he'll stop
Raleaf 26
That or he'll ask her to toot along with the beat, get the whole band going.
cakefete2 31
The fart would be a wind instrument right?
hellnosucka 27
They'll be banging all the time...