Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow barmaid asked how are we supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML
Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML
Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to Coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML
Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML
Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML
Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML
Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
I'd rather be unattractive than a douche anyday
gotmilkido 10
Could mean it the totally opposite way .... She could be such a hottie that he means they guys believe they even have a shot with her or she will give them the time of day ..... Just saying ... On a positive note ;)
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Comments (96)
LONERANGER44 11
He's kidding if course
deegeebee 10
Am I the only one who read this in my mind with a British accent?
gLeek67 0
I hope you mean former boss
djgoreo 12
I think you're beautiful my fair lady.
yenidewi 11
hahahahahhaha ... the bar owner is crazy ... :p
Connect 10
That is ******* hilarious! Hehe
KM96 24
That's horrible! Im sorry OP :( What a jerk! He doesn't deserve you as an employee
OhhIrony 6
Slap him in the face really hard and say, "Or when they look like that!"
greentard 1
He Could mean your so out of their league they'd be stupid to think that they had a chance
VoiceMail 12
Get back at him for being a douche: You have grounds for a sexual harassment claim there. :'D