Today, thanks to that stupid ass blue dog, our kids haven’t stopped hounding me about when their dad and I are getting married. They’re too young to understand, so I try to gently change the subject. That worked for about 5 minutes before they were right back to asking. Holy uncomfortable subject Batman! FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML
Today, and at every family event, my parents and grandparents go on and on about my ex and how much they miss him and wish I would get back with him. This would be fine, rude, but fine, except that they tell this to my husband. It's been years and we're expecting our first child. FML
Today, I was digging the foundation for what will eventually be my garage. My kids wanted to help Daddy, which means they had a front row seat with their little spades when we unearthed the skeleton of some previous homeowner's dog. Now they won’t stop crying. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my husband and my 5-year-old son. Everything was going fine until my son asked his father, “Why can’t mom know that you have another sweetheart?” FML
Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML
Today, while at a family reunion, I jokingly asked my 18-year-old son, "When are you and your girlfriend going to give me a grandson?" He then retorted, "When are you going to die?" I was unable to answer at all. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JillianJuneBug 39
Legit thought you were talking about Blue’s Clues and I was super confused. Now that I know it’s Bluey, I’m still confused.
whatshername?! 39
I am seriously confused. Why does a dog cause the question of marriage? Is this something I am too european to understand? Can't you just explain to the kids why you are not (yet) getting married? If you just give them an answer they will probably stop annoying you with it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (15)
whatshername?! 39
I am seriously confused. Why does a dog cause the question of marriage? Is this something I am too european to understand? Can't you just explain to the kids why you are not (yet) getting married? If you just give them an answer they will probably stop annoying you with it.
cuz803 46
Blue dog? Would that dog be Ace the bat-hound? And what does a dog have to do with your potential marriage? I'm lost. This FML feels all over the place.
JillianJuneBug 39
Legit thought you were talking about Blue’s Clues and I was super confused. Now that I know it’s Bluey, I’m still confused.
noonereally 6
Hey, slow down there. Bluey is a treasure. Don't blame a good children's show for your rocky relationship
maverick83 15
I feel your pain. My Little Pony got me hooked on meth.
Anderling 33
How difficult is it to say “Mommy and daddy don’t want to get married so we won’t, but we still love each other”?
noonereally 6
Maybe he's a bum
Wadlaen 24
I wonder too: Why don't you get married?
dreams2383 20
why aren't you married yet? your willing to have kids with someone but not marry them? if you and their father are not together tell them the truth in a kid friendly version.
Hangryko 32
So why aren't you? If you van explain it to us, you can find a way to explain it to them. YDI