Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple of blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML
Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
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Top comments
Le_Doctor 10
Take a taxi.
morella_xx 29
If you're the kind of person who drinks even though you know your friends are depending on you as a DD, maybe you deserve to get tasered a little bit.
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Comments (82)
Le_Doctor 10
Take a taxi.
Catkam623 27
What if they spent all their money on beer? And how are they gonna get the car back home?
Rallred32 20
Or they can find another designated driver.
Le_Doctor 10
Drive back tommorow to get the car, find an ATM Machine to get the money
CrikOgresmasher 19
Not all towns have convenient taxi services
illegalbeagle69 23
Another DD... at a bar.. good luck.
ian3866 12
19, again they might have already spent all their money. even if an atm is near by their isn't a magical "I owe you" button with most banks. they dont send you more cash past what is in your account...
Le_Doctor 10
If your spending all your money in your account on beer. Then god help you
Catkam623 27
They could have other bills and not be able to afford the ridiculously expensive taxi
J3R3MYY 14
Taxi sono qui!
ian3866 12
Unfortunately 37 there are millions of people in the USA, let alone the rest of the world that struggle making ends meet and work all the time. Every one needs to have some fun once in a while and 20-40 bucks could be spent on one outing every 6 or more months if they get the funds together. It's not ideal but just the way it is.
Le_Doctor 10
-40 That's true, but considering it's a group they can all chip in for the taxi service.
iSativa 24
I don't know about you, but in Illinois it's 7k for a DUI after everything is said an done. If you can't afford a taxi cause you spent it all on beer, you need to rethink your priorities. A taxi through my town is 12 bucks. You best be damn sure ill pay 12$ over 7k. Driving drunk is stupid and destroys lives.
Meettitan 14
#31, you realize that's exactly what credit is, right? A magical "I owe you" button to the bank?
RenoTheRhino 30
38, if they have other bills and they can't afford to get a taxi, then they wouldn't be wasting their money at a bar, most likely. So, I'm guessing they can afford the cost of a taxi, if they even have taxis in their town.
domolovesyoshi 33
it's not their fault the DD is not supposed to drink if they don't have the funds for the taxi it's because they didn't plan on taking one.
ian3866 12
54 you do realize credit isn't a right. not everyone can get credit cards, small loans, or mortgages due to no credit history or bad credit
MainPrism 16
3rrdnwueeeeeiweeejeowjjeweissswjejwnuirsnnlsjswsdeiu2ehrwwwet
Helldemon 32
#47 you must have an small town then cause 12 bucks will only get you 5 miles here.
Helldemon 32
Whoops, too late to edit. Even then 100 bucks an hour for a taxi is fairly expensive.
pinkster2014 25
At first, I got the impression that the drunk guy was the taxi driver xD
95DeVille 13
Depends on where the bar is. Some bars around where I am have no taxis anywhere close to them.
illegalbeagle69 23
Guess who is walking home..
AmexBlack 24
Depending on how far the walk is, a drunken walk home with friends can be the best part of a night! My friends and I always do this.. we stop by a takeaway restaurant usually and get ourselves 'drunk food' (anything high in carbs that's fried) Never walk home alone though regardless of whether you're male or female it's just dangerous.
cumberbunny 17
Your mum.
illegalbeagle69 23
Whoa whoa.. calm down and go back to middle school.
smokecloud_ 37
And that's how you get a public intox and spend the night in jail. One of my coworkers had that happen to him walking across the street from a bar to his taxi.
ex_omer 17
Doesn't matter, he was already drunk. Not much of a designated driver then
Durantye 8
Not much of a friend either
spoo 24
Woot, a form of DD i can do :)
MainPrism 16
iêgieraspwaiwnejjyhjjeksusjjdfuwkwa5weeowwwiwiejhri
Rainhawk94 27
U wot m8
frozen92_fml 12
Don't taze me bro!
Goblin182 27
Maybe he misunderstood. Maybe you asjed him to be your DD and he thought you meant designated drinker.
dave20012 15
That's what I assume :) I'd agree to be designated drinker anyway lol
Catkam623 27
When bars give free drinks to dds they don't mean alcholic ones.
morella_xx 29
If you're the kind of person who drinks even though you know your friends are depending on you as a DD, maybe you deserve to get tasered a little bit.
Dthsapprntc 23
I agree. I would tase him myself, if I carried a taser that is. Scything might be a little too harsh in this case. Maybe.
kozzard 17
Meh apparently he has a death wish abyway
ChenEighty 20
You guys didn't make sure he wasn't drinking? That's the one requirement of a designated driver..
AnOriginalName 19
Drunk people aren't the best at keeping others sober.
mikbrooke 25
the one requirement of the designated driver is for themselves to ensure they do not drink, not for others to check up on them to make sure they arent drinking.
Wizardo 34
Tase-ignated and not to mention inebriated, hail down a cab.
madridistagirl 13
Meh looks like it'll be a long walk home for you.....