Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow barmaid asked how are we supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML
Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML
Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to Coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML
Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML
Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML
Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML
Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
I'd rather be unattractive than a douche anyday
gotmilkido 10
Could mean it the totally opposite way .... She could be such a hottie that he means they guys believe they even have a shot with her or she will give them the time of day ..... Just saying ... On a positive note ;)
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Comments (96)
safaeita 32
I hate when people are so superficial like this, it's not like we have any control on how we look like ,I'm sure there would've been tens of other signs of being real drink that heshe could've used !
gramie 8
There was a video, years ago, of policemen doing a check of drivers. One says to the man they've stopped, "d'ye fancy having a go at my partner here?", indicating a rather unattractive policewoman. "Aye," answers the man. So they arrest him. Coincidence? Or recycling?
tearsXwillXfall 2
That was stupid
failhipster 8
If your ugly then that's a dick move but if your super got then he meant something else completely
Warden1986 16
Say what?
Chaylbs_Draco 8
*hot
OhhIrony 6
I believe he meant, "Super Hot."
nattnatt73 31
That's so messed up.
green2go 14
^ only you and perdix can get thumbs up For a comment like that lol
Karma21 4
How do we know if OP had a relation with her boss and it turned bad but she's stuck at that job due to the economy
Epikouros 32
I don't think the beer goggles effect will kick in if you have to cut people off when they're too drunk to drive, i.e. after one or two drinks.
cbayley 1
Haha that's so funny and mean at the same time. He could be saying it as a compliment though.
carminecris89 13
How could that be a compliment?
61318nikki 8
Thats horrible!
gregkingsley 4
He's got a future lawsuit coming and potentially a comedy tour in his future