Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else had left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a bit buzzed, I finally gave in to my boyfriend's request and gave him a rimjob. I was licking away when I suddenly realized what I was doing, leapt off the bed, and ran to the toilet to puke. FML
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML
Today, I was going down on my boyfriend. I'm usually in control and do my own thing. He tried taking control and I ended throwing up on him. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, a guy I'd been seeing briefly came over for cocktails and a movie. The night ended with him vomiting in my bathroom and on my couch, using my toothbrush, then proceeding to tell me how big his ex-boyfriend's dick was. FML
Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
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Top comments
Sniggle 0
I don't think the washing of vomit is what killed the mood... unless your boyfriend is into that kind of thing O.o
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
That's awkward. Guess you shouldn't deepthroat more than you can handle, hmm?
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Comments (211)
Delmar_fml 2
And the moral of this story is; Do not deepthroat while drunk
brasileirinha 0
Lol #64 why would blowing your boyfriend cost $1? And this blows. Pun completely intended.
m_Cesium 0
nice.... you are like school on sunday... no class
ILIEKGIRLS 5
LOL. That's awesome.
PyroMicky 0
# 64, how the hell does giving your boyfriend a ******* cost 1$? Maybe I slept through that economics lesson, but I was under the impression it was free. And there's a spot in hell reserved for people who recycle jokes. OP, don't feel too bad, an A for effort, and the execution can be excused.
kattyc 0
#132 - So you're saying oral sex is not common in the US? Do you seriously think that? God, I don't know what is with all these commenters, but as others have already said, the OP is NOT a ****/trashy. Like, really, are all the commenters here 13 year old kids from the Bible Belt? Shit happens. People do dumb, embarrassing things (like throwing up on your boyfriend's dick) - that's why FML exists.
Sanrio90 8
i'm not gonna call you a ***** or anything since this can happen to anyone and it's not like you did it to some random guy. You know what's annoying? How people expect women to do whatever a guy wants sexually, and then call us ****** and ***** for doing just that. Go ahead and call me a 'feminazi' for saying that women aren't objects and are deserving of sexual pleasure too. Anyway, oral sex FTW, if you can do it right. Nothing wrong with sucking **** or pussy.
CallMeHush 1
... You usually swallow right? Maybe he liked you switching it up a little, I'm sure it was warm and all. LOL
caraleeann 0
#97 & 129 go kill yourselves. Giving head and getting head are both amazing things. It has nothing to do with respect, it's fun and feels incredible. Maybe u wouldn't be such bitches if you were doing it. So give it a try. Op - try using your hand in a twirling motion while sucking on the head. Much easier than deep throating and the guy will like it better. Class dismissed.
Nugz420 0
I wonder what she ate before that.