Today, I babysat my little cousin. He thought that a glue stick would have the same effect as chapstick. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I used a glue stick instead of my Carmex lip balm. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML
Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML
Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML
Today, while babysitting, I made the kids and myself peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When their parents came home, their dad took out the same container of peanut butter I had used and let their dog lick out of it. FML
Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
captain_hero89 22
that ought to shut him up
RichardPencil 32
You should have told him to kiss the wall. Enjoy the peace and quiet and five minutes before his parents get home, pry him off with a putty knife.
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Comments (15)
captain_hero89 22
that ought to shut him up
The_Bleeder 13
Let's play the overused annoying pun game! I'll go first... That sounds like a sticky situation.
Tripartita 45
My turn: I hope you mean EX cousin!
Tripartita 45
That's… that's not a pun, #3. Try not being a colossal idiot, eh?
The_Bleeder 13
I love sitting on babies! Especially ex cousins.
Lalala579121 28
Now that's a real shitty situation. Or as one might call it, a catastrophe.
J352SAURUS 30
Divorce your cousin! You dodged a bullet, OP!
RichardPencil 32
You should have told him to kiss the wall. Enjoy the peace and quiet and five minutes before his parents get home, pry him off with a putty knife.
extrasnipes 22
Wait this really affects the fml Did he try it on you or himself?
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Sounds like this is your cousin's FML. And you have a good humbling story for him when he gets older.
Goblin182 27
The effect as much better than chap stick.
mariri9206 32
Try dipping a q-tip in hot water and soap. Should work to remove the glue in a relatively unharmful way.
jsalamo 22
So...Did it?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wait, did he put it on himself or you?
Bearsmomma 30
Glue stick glue isn't very glue-y. Did it actually create a problem? Even white school glue wouldn't be strong enough to keep lips from easily separating, I'd think.