Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else had left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a bit buzzed, I finally gave in to my boyfriend's request and gave him a rimjob. I was licking away when I suddenly realized what I was doing, leapt off the bed, and ran to the toilet to puke. FML
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML
Today, I was going down on my boyfriend. I'm usually in control and do my own thing. He tried taking control and I ended throwing up on him. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, a guy I'd been seeing briefly came over for cocktails and a movie. The night ended with him vomiting in my bathroom and on my couch, using my toothbrush, then proceeding to tell me how big his ex-boyfriend's dick was. FML
Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
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Top comments
Sniggle 0
I don't think the washing of vomit is what killed the mood... unless your boyfriend is into that kind of thing O.o
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
That's awkward. Guess you shouldn't deepthroat more than you can handle, hmm?
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Comments (211)
FUCKMYLIFECUNT 0
wow your not a trashy ***** or anything. drunken ****
Jennydew 0
Disgusting!
jordan161616 0
haha I have heard some crazy deep throating stories but this is one of my favorites
podrummer9209 0
7 - Ass. 32- damn, that guy is lucky. well, except for the puking part. :D OP- better luck next time. XD
CearaChaotic 0
that's what you get for attempting to have sex before marriage. just saying.
ShadowKatQueen 2
Not everyone believes the same thing about you. You have no right to judge them though. Only God does
employed22 0
YDI...
Failercoptor 0
#108 wtf are you talking about. this fml should die in a fire. oh noes a ruined *******
auryn89 0
WTF. Why are there no many people angry at this girl for a bj gone bad? I'm pretty sure oral sex must be a common practice in the US just as it is in many other places. I mean REALLY. What about the creeps saying "rich people" should stop bitching about their problems? Since when are sexual problems the issue of rich people solely?? I feel for you, girlfriend. Next time, easy on the wine, though. And play safe. FYL.
wheaty 0
looks like ur eyes were bigger than his dick, lol
redsoxchick08 0
I did this with a guy once. The sad thing...he got turned on by it. I cried on his couch the rest of the night waiting for my pants to dry so I could go home.