Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else had left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a bit buzzed, I finally gave in to my boyfriend's request and gave him a rimjob. I was licking away when I suddenly realized what I was doing, leapt off the bed, and ran to the toilet to puke. FML
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML
Today, I was going down on my boyfriend. I'm usually in control and do my own thing. He tried taking control and I ended throwing up on him. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, a guy I'd been seeing briefly came over for cocktails and a movie. The night ended with him vomiting in my bathroom and on my couch, using my toothbrush, then proceeding to tell me how big his ex-boyfriend's dick was. FML
Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
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Top comments
Sniggle 0
I don't think the washing of vomit is what killed the mood... unless your boyfriend is into that kind of thing O.o
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
That's awkward. Guess you shouldn't deepthroat more than you can handle, hmm?
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Comments (211)
nxkftw 0
#112- win OP: Accidents happen I suppose.
pinkducttape 0
#134 organisedchaos yes it is true...the fml commenters have struck again. people dehumanize on the internet. http://health.blogs.foxnews.com/tag/abraham-biggs/ or people are just stupid. either way.
nxkftw 0
#112- win OP: Accidents happen I suppose.
highonlife77 0
Way to go
pog0_fml 0
Pubes are so nineties!
Phantom13 3
Wow....sick. Well, at least an important lesson was obviously learned today...now what was it class? "Don't drink and suck dick!" Exactly. Lesson learned...:)
cheapsheep_fml 0
LOL @ # 31. and LMFAOOO at all of you - reading these comments has been hilarious. XD
lightedlotus 0
Lol @ #1 (and others like). But seriously, hear hear #48... FML is not a site to expound your outdated moral values/beliefs. Keep them to yourselves and give the gal some credit for deepthroathing (her bf ffs) while drunk. It's harder than it sounds.
mylifesucksoften 0
you deserve it for drinking too much. It's more an FHL
wollzilla 0
this just goes to show you should never bite off more than you can chew.