Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML
Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, the neighbors called the cops on us because they heard a series of loud screams. No, no one was being murdered, but my mom found one of my socks in the laundry room. FML
Today, I was rummaging about in the pantry. When I turned to walk away, the heavy pantry door fell off, struck me in the back of the head, and the wood surrounding the doorknob cracked. When my mom came home, she accused me of "property damage." FML
Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML
Today, I was doing laundry, and decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML
Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML
Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML
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Top comments
YayFlameWarz 9
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, cause they vacuuming e'erybody out here.
KilteDKilleR 7
Motherly love.
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Comments (95)
KilteDKilleR 7
Motherly love.
XxD3MONxX 3
save yourself, push everyone around you to the ground. sometimes in life you have to make sacrifices. I think i just butchered the spelling on that one. :x
steadycreepin 5
At least OP didn't get stitches from their mom
22cute 17
Your mom sucks. I hope she knows it.
rawrkittyrawr 6
So you hear a thump from the closet door and you opened it why?
jose18 3
Guess your moms not gonna win the mother of the year award
QuantumLegend 0
maybe the Casey Anthony award tho
mishkaroni 15
Haha the Casey Anthony award!
jefffluffingham 5
the competition today is a mother who kicked her child out for eating a poptart with no plate, and one who left most of 50 messages asking her 27 year old son when he's getting home. fierce competition. well, now you know how to clear the house out when you're bored/need privacy, if you live there.
obnum 19
haha that mad eme laugh :D
Notimetobleed 14
När jag läste detta tyckte jag att det var din mamma som föll ut ur garderoben
echogekko 7
This makes me think of Ghostbusters
CryMoreFMLs 15
Somethin strange.... Thumpin' in your closet.... Who ya gonna call?!
echogekko 7
My mother
ckr911 5
I can picture this scene.... Tsk tsk :3
leadman1989 16
Lol so could I *vacuum falls Op - run mom save yoursel- mom?... mom? WTF?
YayFlameWarz 9
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, cause they vacuuming e'erybody out here.
Jesus_Christ69 0
I know people are going to thumb me down for this but.. Your comment is funny but it sounds better saying errbody not errybody.. Just sayin'
upyourzlolz 11
Another attack of the 2011 vacuum threats. Tough times we live in.
mohammadkm95 6
Well that must've… sucked
miZscrZee 0
Wow, what a mom right? Atleast you'll know what she'll do when something like that'll happen. Haa..?
beebeeL 1
Ever man/woman for themself !