Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML
Today, on the bus, a man in his late 30s sat next to me. After a moment, he turned to me and said with a wink, "You must be ovulating, I can smell your vagina." FML
Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML
Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML
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Top comments
aardvarkish 17
I'm all ears
KaylynKicks 0
oooooo sexy! what a turn on
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Comments (174)
dreamzzz_fml 3
1
lolpwnagelol 0
First! sorry I've never been first before
bridgette5866 0
...and you still aren't.
hereisnowhy 0
And you aren't now.
Ep1cPha1l 0
the good ol' fork in the eye always does the trick
Monikabug 9
That can not ALWAYS do the trick 19.
Ep1cPha1l 0
if its a good ol' one , it will
cokeorpepsi 0
orifices?
Blue_Coconuts 7
That's how true love is formed isn't it??? Don't tell me I've been doing it wrong all these years!
woofis 0
I like how it looks as if the first comment got moderated because some idiot said "first!" then complained and was moded again
crazeelife12 0
OP well did you do them?
Taylorfacepwns 0
sometimes you need a good spork to tge eye as well.
ReyEr9412 0
He wanted to take the OP back to his place molest him just like he used to do in the navy during WWII. He would then fall asleep and keep his artificial boner for another three hours and 55 minutes.
The_Norwegian 2
^ lol
ThatOneAdamKid24 0
you should be flattered ;)
chocolatealy 0
I dunno wat an prfice is ...... anyone care to help??
Kamens 0
#53 your profile picture makes you look gay rather than strong
FatalWedgie 0
I agree with 132
DGross 8
@132/133 Fairly sure i prefer females but thanks for playing... feel free to upload a pic of yourselves anytime...
harryman04 0
@ 72 that's cause you a gold digger bitch.
ThatOneAdamKid24 0
an orifice is just an opening on your body
KaylynKicks 0
oooooo sexy! what a turn on
afatmonkey 0
One time I was working at Kroger when a man came in dressed as very detailed male organ, and started looking at skim milk. My coworkers and I drew straws, and I lost. I went up to him and asked why he was dressed as a fleshy shaft, and he threw a slimey banana at my face and ran away. Fortunatly, none of the gooey mess got in my mouth, but I wil forever remember the smell- fried chicken mixed with cat urine. I'm still not sure what the gooey stuff is, but now my face is slightly green.
koco4 0
wow. what a vivid imagination or you are on some serious stuff. LOL
UberFail79 0
Sorry about that, 60. What can I say, I lost a bet.
The_Norwegian 2
Drugs are bad, m'kay?
coochbag 0
apparently you suck
aardvarkish 17
I'm all ears
flgirlwguitar 2
LMAO! Good one :-D
Fedor_is_KING 0
That was awesome #5
lemony_fml 0
ahahahahahahhahaha WIN
Spongii101 12
Ewwwwww!!! That's just plain wrong.
mjk555 2
fourth yesssssss well YDI for riding a bus
htownlove 0
lol haha ur seventh!! fail
purplemnm 9
haha you're fail! this person is 6th
htownlove 0
no I was replying to some person that put fourth but was actually seventh but idk where it went
rachness 0
#43 looks like a chipmunk...just sayin
purplemnm 9
oh shit I look like a rodent? damn it all I was going for owl!
ski_backwards 0
what's an orifce
awesomechica1229 5
it a fancy word for body parts :)
Kockdiesel 0
actually, body openings.
UrLiFsuX 4
fancy word for holes in your body, mouth etc.
luda111b 0
actually it's any hole. doesn't have to be a body hole. fyi
Shokz992 0
If English if your first language... You're stupid... Sorry...
goatfeathers 1
I know what orifice means, but you say any opening? Pores? Stab wounds?
leebee96 0
a hole in the body.
kadlic 0
should have said okay then grab twist and pull lmaoo
hedgerow 0
#9 a hole
middlefingerYOU 0
this is boring!