Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML
Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML
Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML
Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML
Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He'd left, leaving the door kicked in. FML
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Top comments
Peachy2392 26
Ass-bandit?
Kamon97 23
That bastard how else are you gonna watch Disney tapes now? :(
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Comments (130)
Mimi12589_fml 10
Yeahhh yeahhh... You REALLY wanted to get rid of that VHS player didn't you ? Except it'd look more true to your wife if the window was actually broken .. We get it.. Come on you're in a safe place, admit it .. ;)
itsnina 11
That must be shattering!
Martnikk 15
How is he supposed to know that
realjojo 11
Sir, we highly suspect it was an inside job...
pdp_fml 21
It must have been an amateur thief. A professional would have tried the front door because he or she would not want to leave evidence of a break in. Sorry for the broken window.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Always listen to your wife OP :)
Thi3fstheme 9
Your wife plotted it all in order to get rid of it.
name_to_the_user 1
it was your wife
anyoldnamewilldo 23
If you meant "ass bandit" in the way that it is most used, as in "homosexual", you are most assuredly mistaken. No self-respecting gay I know would EVER be caught in the possession of a VCR in this day and age. Just saying.
Playful1985 9
dude your wife did it.