Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML
Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML
Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML
Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML
Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He'd left, leaving the door kicked in. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Peachy2392 26
Ass-bandit?
Kamon97 23
That bastard how else are you gonna watch Disney tapes now? :(
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (130)
perdix 31
Wouldn't an ass-bandit come in the back door? Be glad you weren't home at the time -- he could have also stolen your rectal virginity.
Not_Impressed13 9
Finally!!! Someone has interpreted the insult!!! Why does it not surprise me that it was perdix??
Gho5tk3y 17
I'm sorry to hear about your window but look on the bright side, at least your rid of the relic. I'm sure your wife will get over it soon, outta sight outta mind hopefully.
Unionbay47 10
Front door is to commonly used. I wouldn't even go through the window. I would go either from a basement or chimney in style.. If the house had neither then it isn't worth it.
TrinityNevada 11
The fact that you said "ass bandit" pretty much makes this a FYL rather than a YDI. Now, If Ass Bandit came in through the door, I totally would have blamed you.
suckceed 17
I totally would appropriate a VHS player for my poor unplayed tapes.
Laserbeaver 6
At least you had it. My parents threw it away without me knowing :(
thachiliandude 6
Sorry i for smashing your window didn't know the front door was unlocked
jonahwalzer 12
Bad guys don't use the front door!
tookiestyles 1
Yeah he scored
skcmcpk 14
favorite fml just because you called him an ass bandit