Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, when looking through my home surveillance camera footage, I realised I was almost burgled. Two men broke in, looked around for a few minutes, and on the audio I clearly heard them complaining that I didn’t have anything worth stealing, so one of them pissed on my armchair. I'd blamed my dog for that damp patch. FML
Today, I was taking a poop when I heard a window in my house break. Then, I heard things dropping upstairs. I decided to stay in the bathroom, which has a lock, and called the cops. Turns out it was just a bird that was trying to get at my fish in the fish tank that I have in my room. FML
Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML
Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Today, I found out my dog is a felon. He broke into a neighbor's house by breaking in through the screen door. He also vandalized their property by shitting on their carpet. Our neighbors are now considering suing us. FML
Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML
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Top comments
carrs2154 9
Honestly. What the hell?
WistayShlaio82 13
I hope your insurance doesn’t read this
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Comments (9)
WistayShlaio82 13
I hope your insurance doesn’t read this
krray 7
Insurance!? How about the police... What you just did is a felony now.
jc1015 25
I'm hoping the opposite he would totally deserve it
Itsheragain 9
😑
carrs2154 9
Honestly. What the hell?
mackdeezy 22
You know, instead of counting your blessings for being lucky, you go and do this shit. The police would have understood if you were upfront with them.
Wadlaen 24
Fully understandable! A lot of us would have done the same!
ViviMage 40
911 responders would rather you are safe and it's just the cat or dog making noises but confirmed the house is ok! You won't get in trouble for calling in good faith you were scared with strange noises! Well good luck on your 7 years bad luck!
hdisnfjs91 21
good job at commiting to avoid looking silly
AmbrosiaFan 19
Filing a false police report. Stay classy.
grayy 2
filing a false police report wow, next you will blame someone innocent is that it?!