Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML
Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML
Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML
Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML
Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He'd left, leaving the door kicked in. FML
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Top comments
Peachy2392 26
Ass-bandit?
Kamon97 23
That bastard how else are you gonna watch Disney tapes now? :(
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Comments (130)
kbl1327 5
Sounds to me like the wife set the whole thing up....only one thing was missing, the one thing she wanted to get rid of. make her fix the window!!!
joerider006 4
LMAO!!!! Good thing they didn't notice the perfectly good blue ray player next to it huh? Lol
EvilLittleMan 23
It's better for him to steal your VCR than your ass virginity I would say.
harmtouch16 11
Today I cut my hand and fell hard on the floor while breaking a window to rob a dudes house. I found nothing of value and ended up leaving with only a crappy VHS player. On my way out I noticed the front door had been unlocked the whole time. FML.
diremast 2
You said so yourself, he's an Ass-Bandit. Going through the front isn't really his thing, you know.
harmtouch16 11
Applause, applause #129. Awesome. Love it.
Mysthunter 13
If you wanted to get rid of the VCR and he did it, not really much of an FML. It is more like Awesome!!! Well the window thing sucks, but now you don't have to argue with your wife about it anymore. I think that is worth a window.
CodeyR244 2
Sorry...
BellaBeas 2
You shoulda got rid of the damn thing like ur wife said! Wen will u men learn! ;-)
kelseaboo 14
?????