Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML
Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML
Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML
Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML
Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He'd left, leaving the door kicked in. FML
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Top comments
Peachy2392 26
Ass-bandit?
Kamon97 23
That bastard how else are you gonna watch Disney tapes now? :(
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Comments (130)
DarkCaesar 17
Why check the front door and risk setting off alarms or leaving finger prints, if I were an ass bandit is drop something and wait till they reach for it which is when I would strike. While they are off guard at the incident I would scramble into the area which had the targeted VHS player and I would take it to watch all my Disney tapes.
repKyle95 24
Hey, at least you don't own any donkeys - those probably would've been in HUGE trouble!
eternal_malaise 10
Stealing VHS VCR is not a complete waste of time - it could have been a Betamax VCR.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Please, take my iPhone and flatscreen TV but not my VHS player!!!
cheyenne7517 1
Hahahhahhah
perdix 31
You should have thrown out a few other items to make it look less obvious.
BlackPanther19 11
*adds ass-bandit to list of insults*
olpally 33
What a stupid criminal... Who steals a VHS player?? Lmao. You got lucky he didn't steal anything of value. Haha.
angelitared 27
**** n ass bandit!
Rainhawk94 27
Think before you comment or at least read your comment out loud you might be surprised how stupid it is
FlyingPie 17
Some people just don't think to try the easiest thing first..