Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML
Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML
Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding." This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
Today, my dad threatened to kick me out and cut me off if I didn't apologize to his girlfriend, whom I don't get along with. She found the heavily used textbook I bought from a second hand bookstore, which is full of funny doodles and tons of harsh hate messages to a certain "Susan", which coincidentally is her name. FML
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Top comments
sacrosanct2 23
clearly outplayed
emirie 21
Your dad sounds awesome. That's hilarious.
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Comments (107)
sacrosanct2 23
clearly outplayed
aoc123 8
he didn't even stand a chance lol
BillMurray_fml 12
OP needs to get on his dad's level.
TheCanucklehead 22
#17 - How do you get on that level? I didn't even know that level existed.
Missyeru 14
#19 Clearly you are new to the Internet if you didn't know that level existed. OP. your dad wins :) GG
soccerstar1996 18
Lol not trying to be racist here. But anyone else think it's ironic that he might get lynched in Africa?
\ 28
People will probably sympathize more with OP
IceCreamMage 17
His dad just bossed him so hard.
iceshard01 10
I think your dad won the internet. •_•
Leftspoke 6
That's twisted lol
mFUNdo21 17
troll dad strikes again
emirie 21
Your dad sounds awesome. That's hilarious.
natalie_sarantos 19
agreed.
_parth 20
Something my dad would do too....
Infamous_Tora 12
Father wins. Fatality.
junkman6 22
For some reason this comment made he think of a hairy Italian man In a Sonja Blade outfit.... My brain sucks.
warehouse_rat 8
56, you sir are a ass hat that mental image is now stuck in my head they do not make brain bleach strong enough for this situation
Bloink 25
Seems like you're going to have to outdo that one. Good luck to you, sir.
Allennis44 16
That's going to be difficult
Brandon2916 9
Father: 1 Son: 0
goose12321 11
Father: 1 Son: 1
PhotoSmith 25
I think out would be more like Son 1, Father 100.
FimogenFeels 14
Father - 1 You - 0
FimogenFeels 14
Never mind someone beat me to it!!
PenguinBitch 44
Father: 1 Son: 0 Fimogenfeels: 0
lovethenumber13 14
Can I borrow your dad forever?
MasqueradePrince 25
-bursts into giggles- I wish my parents were that cool.
iSativa 24
He deserves father of the year award.