Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
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Top comments
AMAN1218 4
that's one mean pussy!
awesomer2000 0
I hope you picked up all the bits of his arms
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Comments (199)
dotDotMyCurve 0
poor kitty:(
poohforMVP 4
what is he on and where can I get some?
JokeMeister 0
that's what u get for having a cat!
MMMMMMPorkchops 1
cats are awful and unfit to be pets.
XxdarkangelxX13 0
I feel bad for your boyfriend.... ouch:/
sandmancometh 3
Cat Facts... Cats clean themselves a lot but still stink? Even when they are healthy they stink up your house? Your house stinks even if your cat ***** outside? Why own a cat? Do you like to stink? just sayin.....? Cats don't shake, lay down, fetch, roll over. Cats don't protect you or warn you. Cats have no expression. Cats don't greet you each day as if they haven't seen you for a month. You go ahead and love your cat it's your choice and thats fine wahoo.. I choose a dog over a cat every time, it just makes sense....woof oh yeah, sorry about your carpet...
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Funny, my cat is clean, smells nice, greets me every time I come home as if it's been ages, cuddles with me when I'm sad or sleeping, plays tag with me, chats with me, kills nasty rodents, hisses and freaks out whenever strangers pass by the house...the dog I had smelled like shit, ate its own shit, and was dumber than a sack of shit. Don't compare cats and dogs; it's all about personal preference.
sandmancometh 3
if you think your cat smells good ask people if they smell it when they come over. You get used to the stink and don't realize it smells when you are around it every day. Yea they stink. I said if you want a cat that's fine and dandy. They do stink.
angel55033 12
get a dog problem solved
ohmandapants 17
um it seems to me that he should be the one writing the fml. He gets his arms clawed to bits and all you got was cat piss and you're complaining? You're lucky that cat didn't claw your face.
Kemal33T 0
ungrateful feline deserves to die!
onthetoilet 3
I hate cats