Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the size of a man's penis is not proportional to his height. He was insecure because he's 5'6" and assumed everyone taller had a bigger penis than him. He's 30. FML
Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my new boyfriend asked to know the penis size of every other guy I’ve been with. There are a lot. FML
Today, during a deep conversation with my girlfriend of 6 months, I asked her if the guy she had cheated on me once with a few months back had a bigger “tool” than me. She said yes. So I asked, "How much bigger are we talking about?" Her response was "Probably like twice the size." FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has a micropenis. He found my dildo and started crying because it was bigger than him. I love him to death and would never cheat on him, but sometimes I just need to be filled up. Am I wrong? FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML
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Top comments
PsychSwirl2012 1
What a Dick...
DocBastard 40
Your answer was honest, truthful, and kind-hearted. His response was immature and stupid. Not every guy is hung like a stallion, and not every girl WANTS a guy so hung. If he ever asks again, tell him he's just barely adequate. That'll teach him that your first answer was much better.
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Comments (228)
samster7672 0
Lol that's happened to me too guys r more insecure than we r lol
akiahara 14
ridiculous... insecure to the bone.
C0N71NG3NCY 6
Honestly, people who think penis size matters are hilarious... Seriously, you can have the largest dick in the world and not know what the **** you're doing. Those dudes in the pron vids just pumping away aren't actually studs amazing at sex, it's uncommon for a woman to be able to have a purely vaginal ****** without a vibrator. Just find her clit, you don't actually need a penis for that.
C0N71NG3NCY 6
Also the OP's answer was diplomatic. What if she's had few previous sexual partners? It's entirely possible for her not to know what's "big" for a penis. Unless she spends a considerable amount of time looking at it, she won't remember how big it is exactly. Dudes are oversensitive about the size of their junk, just like bitches are about their weight.
russfml 31
Think of it like a guy saying no hunny you don't look fat in that dress vrs saying yea ur fat and need to diet. A guys ego for his penis is like you worrying about your weight is what I'm getting at.. Op
StephLovesYouuxo 1
Lol what a douche
cleio81 5
Men are very sensitive about their penis size. It's like if you asked if you were fat and he responded with "well, your not that fat."
desidude 0
Size does matter!
missmandaj 3
Okay that would be like you asking if your jeans made you looked fat and he said it doesn't matter how fat they make you look, I think your beautiful. The sentiment is there but you would be pissed.
hotforkegger 4
Men are like women they want their EGO stroked
Fortitudine 3
Stupid thing to say. Even if they aren't big, you're still supposed to say they are!