Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the size of a man's penis is not proportional to his height. He was insecure because he's 5'6" and assumed everyone taller had a bigger penis than him. He's 30. FML
Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my new boyfriend asked to know the penis size of every other guy I’ve been with. There are a lot. FML
Today, during a deep conversation with my girlfriend of 6 months, I asked her if the guy she had cheated on me once with a few months back had a bigger “tool” than me. She said yes. So I asked, "How much bigger are we talking about?" Her response was "Probably like twice the size." FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has a micropenis. He found my dildo and started crying because it was bigger than him. I love him to death and would never cheat on him, but sometimes I just need to be filled up. Am I wrong? FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML
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Top comments
PsychSwirl2012 1
What a Dick...
DocBastard 40
Your answer was honest, truthful, and kind-hearted. His response was immature and stupid. Not every guy is hung like a stallion, and not every girl WANTS a guy so hung. If he ever asks again, tell him he's just barely adequate. That'll teach him that your first answer was much better.
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Comments (228)
n00bcakes 0
You're a good girlfriend.
4Madden 19
Your boyfriends a bigger woman than you.
johnnyrogers97 9
WTF were you thinking?!?!?!?!? You don't say anything except for Huge! That's that a guy calling a girl fat Again, WTF
FUCKNAMESBREH 0
What a baby, besides, i've read that most of the females feeling in her vag is in the first 3 inches..
bprince25 0
dnt understand. personally I consider myself average and really dnt care otherwise. if she comes back for more I must be doin something right.....they always come back for more. ;)
izzy7 11
I don't care what guys say, bigger is not always better. Out of all the guys I've had sex with, my current boyfriend has the smallest penis. He's also the only guy who's ever gotten me to ******. I'll take a small penis that gets the job done over a big one that doesn't any day.
Faery_Magic 11
112/izzy7 Lol this gives me hope. My ex was huge and I never came. I'm way more excited to be with a guy with a smaller one. I tell this to guys who brag that they're huge and they get too shocked to say anything.
reform2diosa 1
how would you feel if he says "I'll love you no matter how fat you are"?
kerr888 0
So you don't think your over reacting at all?
dansco 25
Now I'm sorry but this is same kind of question when a woman asks a man if she looks fat in this - lie! In this case OP should've just said yes of course so YDI!
C94_ 0
You are hurtful. I'm pretty sure if you asked if you were tight enough you wouldn't want him saying " however tight you are you satisfy me"